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snowcuppa_edited-1

Christ’s nails and crown
in dogwood petals can be found

Yahweh in treetops tall and fallen twigs
Holy Praise in limbs raised high
in forest, cowpaths, roadside, and gardens
beneath a God-designed sky
In rain come down, washing away
dirt and grime, a Holy Spirit Baptism
immersing. seeping deep to grow
roots to bloom and in the blooming
reseed

Doves on a wire, robins and sparrows
amidst mocking birds and jays
twigs, leaves and feathers in nests,
calling, sunrise to sundown
“Precious! Precious! Are you to Elohim”
precious down to a every whisker and tendril

Water dripping into cisterns, barrels and birdbaths
just like tears and their stories
collected in God-made
bottles and books
drip drip dripping and in the dripping remind
to not forget
that He doesn’t

Seeds and Seasons,
winter and fall, death, dying, darkness and challenge
spring and summer, rebirth, reseeding, hope and faith
That sometimes, like hydrangeas replanted,
we don’t see the saving evidence in the wait
of a prayer sent out
taking a longer turn of time than we’d like

tulipcup_edited-1Even the bitter cold of a winter ice storm
breaking electric lines
removing security’s warmth
followed by snow
covering roads unable to bring help in
or allowing initiative to find a way out
because sometime God wants us in our helplessness
to trust Him
let Him

A bitter cold where even left-overs
like the brittle samara house of a tulip poplar
resembling a golden chalice, the Holy Grail,
holds redemption’s message
reminding of salvation walking
sitting down, breaking bread
passing around the cup
of the new covenant
born out of the pure sacrifice
of God made man
pouring out his life
in saving grace
for every man, woman
every boy and girl
a cuppa salvation
offered to every
you and me

Messages designed before
Adam and Even
these messages a loving God wrote
for you and me
dogwood_edited-1

 

“And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:27-28)

“He did the same with the cup after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant written in my blood, blood poured out for you'” (Luke 22: 20).

Salvation – “the redemption of man from the bondage of sin and liability to eternal death, and the conferring on him everlasting happiness. This is the great salvation” – 1828 Noah Webster Dictionary

Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own (2 Cor 5: 14-15)

Thanks to Jennifer Dukes Lee who wrote about the Yahwehs all around!

On Thursday:
http://3dlessons4life.com/ Thought-Provoking Thursday

On Friday:
http://www.missionalwomen.com/ Faith-Filled Fridays
http://arabahjoy.com Grace and Truth
http://equippinggodlywomen.com/ Fellowship Friday
http://countingmyblessings.com/blog/ Blessing Counters
http://www.simplemomentsstick.com/ Faith and Fellowship
On the Weekend:
http://www.barbieswihart.com/ The Weekend Brew
http://faith.5minutesformom.com/ Faith ‘N Friends
http://sandraheskaking.com/ Still Saturday
http://seespeakhearmama.com/ Give Me Grace
http://www.janiscox.com/ Sunday Stillness
http://www.spiritualsundays.com/ Spiritual Sundays

snowice_edited-1

“I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory” (1 Peter 1:7)

These snowstorms have challenged the people of our county. Its boundaries climb up toward the Cumberland Plateau.  Often school is cancelled because snow falls on up the mountain, while roads and yards are clear in the mid and western county ends. Nine days ago, the ice came – from west to east – and in-between – houses were without electricity. The interstate was shut down at one point. The road up our little part of the mountain was closed.

We were fortunate – somehow, our little in-between space didn’t lose electricity. The propane man filled our tank at 6 p.m. before the ice storm came. (We had ordered it a few days before, and it had run out 2 p.m. the day he came). We experienced moments of cracking, popping and flickering systems – but no outages. Our birch split down the middle from the top halfway down. The coyotes came close, too, yipping, showing themselves around the edges of home.

A state of emergency was declared in the eastern county town. It looked like a war zone – power poles and lines down, trees split, roofs on buildings leaking, caving in – interstate and main roads shut off. I’ve heard resourceful stories of women cooking dinner on warming plates, sleeping under seven blankets to keep warm. One family drove over an hour away to buy a generator, so they could have a bit of light, heat – and a stove to cook on and be home.

One friend described the night after the ice came – loud popping, cracking – and trees just falling, crashing to the ground loud in the quiet, icy, white dark.

Another described her husband going in to work. Because the electricity was out, the sump-pump didn’t work – and water created havoc in a storage room while roofs leaked and awnings crashed due to the weight of the ice and rapid water melting.

snowicetree_edited-1Just as a bit of thaw and melt came, so did another round of wintery weather. This time, it was snow – fluffy, build-a-snow-man kind of snow.

The road up to our mountain shut down again. On Friday, the eastern end of the county still didn’t have electricity, though from my house, to the court house, to the university to the west end of the county, the snow had melted, back streets just had ice remnants in shady areas.

Listening to the telling of it, of the can-do, the taking-in-stride – the hope and faith of lives choosing to live full instead of empty – these women of our county exhibited not just the American spirit – but the grace of Christ evident in their walk and talk.

These women found it – the treasure in the storm. God put it there – that treasure.

Ann Voskamp said in One Thousand Gifts, “Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn’t rescue the suffering. The converse does. The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world.

Besides resourcefulness and grace, I heard stories of family being stuck together by this ice – and making the most of it. We were one of those families.  One of the treasures in the midst of these storms was time – all the time to love and not be rushed.

One son and his fiance brought their two puppies and stayed for the few days they didn’t have electricity.  We had Zuppa Toscana soup on the stove, warm scones – and hot chocolate (blueberries, strawberries, pineapple, carrots and broccoli, too – but not in the hot chocolate), coffee or Swiss Apple Tea with honey. This boy and his sweet fiance – they still managed to get out in the icy ice and snowy cold to go to work. When I popped into the coffee shop where another son works, his manager told me my son was one of the few who managed to make it in for every shift when others couldn’t. It was a sweet thing, to be able to savor these boys grown into men, taking care of business in the midst of these storms.

We made it down the mountain for a pancake breakfast with friends. We passed phones around taking the 5 Love Language Test. I discovered that the youngest, whose love language had always been a mystery to me, was a Quality Time/Physical Touch love language, while my 16 year old was the same (Physical Touch not a surprise, but Quality Time took me by surprise). The Quality Time diagnosis explained the feeling of relief I felt from the boys since I stopped working outside the family.

There’s been a lot of, “I just want you to know I’m using my quality time to . . . . ” – and a lot more smiles from these boys. I have a God-designed excuse now to give hugs, rub arms, scratch backs, too.

The youngest, he asked, “Mama, wanna make me some Hot Chocolate?”

“For a snow man,” I countered. Smirking, he brought me a miniature snowman.

Smirking, I handed him a cup of Swiss Miss instant hot chocolate. What he really wanted was my special hot chocolate. Payment? – a snowman with a hat, scarf, carrot nose, arms and eyes.

There are pitfalls to negotiating with your children, but it does teach both of us that words do mean something.

He crafted a snowman with strawberry eyes, a carrot nose, scarf and fedora – and I poured him a cup of my special hot chocolate.

One night, he used his quality time and surprised me with a clean kitchen. What a beautiful hug! This son also proved that one out of five sons knows that a clean kitchen means an empty sink.

On the way to school in the mornings, one boy leads in The Lords Prayer and the other in the Psalm 23. Around the time of my last day of work, the words, “He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3),” stuck to me – like ice on the mountain this last week.

There was restoration to this soul of mine during last 9 days. Maybe some of the popping and cracking I heard was part of that restoration process. Gills Exposition of the Bible likens this process as follows: “he fetches it back again, relieves, refreshes, and comforts with the discoveries of his love, with the promises of his word, and with the consolations of his Spirit, and such like reviving cordials.”

God sent something precious in these storms, despite the devastation, the challenges, the hardships. He included incredibly valuable treasures for each of us within the storm. Did you find yours?

snowman_edited-1

 

&

Linking with the following blogs:

http://lauraboggess.com/ PlayDates with God
http://www.solideogloriasisterhood.com/ Soli Deo Gloria Connections
http://www.blessedbutstressed.com/ Inspire Me Mondays
http://darlingdownsdiaries.com/ Good Morning Mondays
http://www.thebeautyinhisgrip.com/ Sharing His Beauty
http://whatjoyismine.net/ Monday Musings
http://www.shelivesfree.com/blog Make a Difference Mondays
http://afieldofwildflowers.blogspot.com/ Small Wonder (formerly Unforced Rhythms)
http://donnareidland.com Mondays @ Soul Survival
On Tuesday:
http://www.richfaithrising.com/ Unite the Bloggosphere
http://purposefulfaith.com/ Cheerleading #RaRaLinkUp
http://hollybarrett.org/ Testimony Tuesday
http://cornerstoneconfessions.com Titus 2 Tuesday

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So many are ready to be done with the snow and ice. Eyes are already set on a Spring that isn’t ready to receive. Yet, the snow comes from the Father, bringing gifts – if we’d but open them, find the grace embed, read the messages designed within them. Set your eyes on what He has brought you now, gifts of extravagant love.

snow2015c_edited-2“He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’
and the rain, ‘Soak the whole countryside!’

snow20159c_edited-1
“No one can escape the weather—it’s there.
And no one can escape from God.
Wild animals take shelter,
crawling into their dens,”

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“When blizzards roar out of the north
and freezing rain crusts the land.
It’s God’s breath that forms the ice,
it’s God’s breath that turns lakes and rivers solid.”

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“And yes, it’s God who fills clouds with rainwater
and hurls lightning from them every which way.”

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“He puts them through their paces—first this way, then that—
commands them to do what he says all over the world.”

snowbudc_edited-1
“Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love,
he makes sure they make their mark” (Job 37:6-13).

snow201519c_edited-1(I see a crown here – don’t you? – a leafy crown tipped in snow diamonds)

Maybe you’re praying for Spring to be early. Consider that often, the most important living happens in the wait of a prayer sent out.

God brought it, and I met it, welcomed it (though I’m not comfortable driving in it). I bundled up and set out, camera in hand – and made myself look for what He’d brought me. I inhaled crisp, invigorating air (i.e. gasping cold air). I walked carefully over the white crunchy snow-covered ice to a wooded area (i.e. slippery) and found stories and art: the remnants of a fort made by a band of brothers a few winters past,  a nest at the base of a tree, lined with leaves, broken trees covered in snow blankets. When I bent low, wondering what God had brought me, I found a leafy crown tipped with snow diamonds. God’s designs were everywhere – and ever changing.

If I hadn’t determined to look, I wouldn’t have found them. God’s extravagant love is available, even in the snow and ice, even in the uncomfortable places! Are you determined to find them in all seasons and all weather?

snowdiamonds2_edited-1

snowdiamonds_edited-1For the last three years, I’ve gone to work on snow days. The boys stayed home. Little enough time to make Blue Cotton Hot Chocolate, no scrumptious scones,  sitting long, talking much at the kitchen counter left me feeling unnaturally stretched – well, because that’s where the soul conversations seemed to happen – and working from 8 to 4:30 narrowed not just the time for big and little soul things, but the energy left over to live those pursue them rightly. Add soccer schedules, school events, and all the unplanned events – and time narrowed even more, leaving scant little room for the so very important little things that make such a difference in the big things.

“I was pushed back and about to fall,
But the Lord helped me.
The Lord is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation”(Psalm 118: 13-14).

I realized in the last three years, that I’m not as good at multi-tasking the mom-spouse-me roles as I thought. I realized, also, that I need buffer time scheduled in my day to make room for the unexpected. I also need time to let my mind run down, pursue thoughts and ideas like rabbits through warrens. Not having that time left me feeling empty of myself. I already knew I wasn’t Super-Woman. I have peace to just be this blue cotton woman. Mostly, I knew that home needed more of the mama and the sweetheart.

“The Lord is gracious and righteous;
Our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simple-hearted;
When I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul,
For the Lord has been good to you”
(Psalm 116:5-7).

snowbudsc_edited-1Compressed time depressed the spilling of heart things – and these boys-to-men of mine need time to spill those things – in their own way, in their own growing-up-kind-of time. Boys need time for the words to ooze out, un-rushed, mostly unprompted. Trying to speed up communication pauperized conversation.

Time and energy – to also pick up on word cues, thrown out, trying to catch this mama’s attention, word cues that are nonchalant idea bait, indirectly saying, “A bit of help required.”

“He restores my soul” (Psalm 23: 3).

This mom needed time for those little things – time to sit long, talk much, time to think, time to match socks and wipe the counter down, time to soak in His word, time to love in all the love languages, time to not rush things that shouldn’t be rushed.

During the past two weeks, I’ve cooked a beef stew with mushrooms and carrots, scones and hot chocolate. There’ve been veggies, grilled cheese, cinnamon rolls at breakfast and homemade chocolate chip cookies after school – and a Soli Deo Gloria Homecoming cake.

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This has been a God-In-It homecoming – a homecoming that I didn’t realize would be so important to me or to my family about 28 years ago.

My thoughts have chased ideas the rabbit warrens of my soul. There were 10 a.m. chess matches at the counter when my son’s friends dog-piled at out house for the snowstorm. The snow? A gift from God for this heart of mine.

“In my anguish I cried to the Lord,
and he answered by setting me free”
(Psalm 118:5).

Soli Deo Gloria – Glory to you God alone for this homecoming. Thank you, Shaddai for setting me free – not because I’m somebody – because we know I’m just a simple, blue cotton woman. Thank you for setting me free because I’m yours.

Linking with other bloggers:

On Monday:
http://lauraboggess.com/ PlayDates with God
http://www.solideogloriasisterhood.com/ Soli Deo Gloria Connections
http://www.blessedbutstressed.com/ Inspire Me Mondays
http://darlingdownsdiaries.com/ Good Morning Mondays
http://www.thebeautyinhisgrip.com/ Sharing His Beauty
http://whatjoyismine.net/ Monday Musings
http://www.shelivesfree.com/blog Make a Difference Mondays
http://afieldofwildflowers.blogspot.com/ Small Wonder (formerly Unforced Rhythms)
http://donnareidland.com Mondays @ Soul Survival
On Tuesday:
http://www.richfaithrising.com/ Unite the Bloggosphere
http://purposefulfaith.com/ Cheerleading #RaRaLinkUp
http://hollybarrett.org/ Testimony Tuesday
http://cornerstoneconfessions.com Titus 2 Tuesday
On Wednesday:
http://www.juanamikels.com/ Wednesday Prayer Girls
http://www.kristinhilltaylor.com/ Three-Word Wednesday
http://www.w2wministries.org/ Word-Filled Wednesdays
http://holleygerth.com/ Coffee for Your Heart
http://jenniferdukeslee.com/ Tell His Story
http://meredithbernard.com/ W2W Wednesdays
http://www.rosilindjukic.com/ A Little R & R
http://womenwithintention.com/ Women with Intention
On Thursday:
http://3dlessons4life.com/ Thought-Provoking Thursday
http://www.gracedsimplicity.com/ Hearts for Home
http://www.faithbarista.com/ Beloved Brews
http://tsuzanneeller.com Live Free Thursdays
http://www.prairiedusttrail.com After My Coffee
On Friday:
http://www.missionalwomen.com/ Faith-Filled Fridays
http://arabahjoy.com Grace and Truth
http://equippinggodlywomen.com/ Fellowship Friday
http://countingmyblessings.com/blog/ Blessing Counters
http://www.simplemomentsstick.com/ Faith and Fellowship
On the Weekend:
http://www.barbieswihart.com/ The Weekend Brew
http://faith.5minutesformom.com/ Faith ‘N Friends
http://sandraheskaking.com/ Still Saturday
http://seespeakhearmama.com/ Give Me Grace
http://www.janiscox.com/ Sunday Stillness
http://www.spiritualsundays.com/ Spiritual Sundays

fog“He restores my Soul” (Psalm 23:3)

When my husband and I married in college, we both worked jobs for awhile that were build-a-dream jobs. These jobs had nothing in common with our college majors. We took those jobs because we had a dream – of a life together. These jobs allowed us to start living that dream.  Love does that – sacrifice self for each other.

About three years ago, I took another build-a-dream job – because we had another dream – to build a business. It was a full-time job that provided health insurance while our business grew. The job didn’t use my skill-set; it was another “build-a-dream job” – a job that helped you build the dream, though it had absolutely nothing in common with the dream.

Dream building is challenging – because a broken world likes tearing dreams and people down, but let me tell you, friends, faith and hope are the Aaron and Hur in life’s battles, holding us up, helping us withstand, to keep building these God-designed dreams.

Dream Building, whether it’s writing a book, building a business – or raising a family – isn’t a utopian task. Let’s face it, the devil doesn’t want God-designed dreams to come true . . . . .

I want you to meet some of my very close friends during the last 3 years, taped to my work-station, constantly lifting me up, like Aaron and Hur lifted Moses’ arms in the battle:

“The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him” (Lamentations 3:25)

“Against hope, with hope he believed” (Romans 4:18)

“You’re my servant, serving on my side.
I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you” (Isaiah 41:10)

Since August, my husband and I have been planning a “homecoming.” Last Tuesday was my last day working outside our family, our home and our business. Someone asked my, “Are you excited to be leaving?” I laughed and said, “Twenty years ago, I would have been running and jumping with joy to this new starting point. Right now, I’m walking to the ending point and slowly savoring, slowing entering this new-but-not-new daily living. If I ran and jumped into the unknown at my age, I just might hurt myself.”

Starting last Wednesday, I’ve been restoring outside things like the leaky kitchen sink and running toilet. The shower is still dripping, though. Clean towels are folded in the bathrooms. I can almost see the bottom of the sock basket.

The two boys at home? There’s a peace, a relief in them. They’ve been wonderful the past 3 years, taking care of their homework after school, helping with the laundry, doing the dishes, making sure we’re not up to our noses in golden retriever hair. Sometimes I came home to homemade brownies and cupcakes my boys cooked.

Last Thursday, they sat at the kitchen counter, doing homework, talking about the day. The baby, the 8th grader said, “Where’s the cookies, Mom? You promised homemade cookies after school” and he gave me that cheeky smile. He also gave me a reprieve until this week for some of that after-school, tummy-filling love that only his mom can bake. Something that had been missing about home, raising boys, and Mama was found across the kitchen counter last week. I think I’d been homesick for those moments.

Then there’s the inside restoration of me . . . . He gave me my word for the year – and all I could think is, “Oh, that’s going to make some people really uncomfortable – and it is something that has been discouraged for, oh, about three years (You’ll have to come back next Monday for my word of the year – I’ll tell you then – because if I tell you now, then I’ll have to explain and this will be a much longer post).

Inside and outside restoration isn’t an overnight process. I think that’s why I haven’t had a running, jumping approach. Restoration is a slow, steady process, where some things need time, need to be stripped off, repaired, refitted, revealed to heal, to adjust, to grow.

This morning, a cloud fell on the mountain. I grabbed my camera, which had been sitting idle for a few months, and went on a playdate with God – and I wanted to thank Laura for introducing me to Playdates with God over three years ago – because they have made all the difference these last three years, that and counting 1,000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience.

I drove into the white splatter of a fallen cloud (my boys would be rolling their eyes saying, “We’re not little kids anymore” – but there must be the little kid in me somewhere to enjoy saying that kind of stuff – or maybe that’s just being a mom), around windy mountain lanes, spent time with the God who is the architect for not only this soul maintenance and restoration but for the challenging business of building God-designed dreams in a broken world.

 

Soli Deo Gloria,

   ”What
Beauty in His Grip Button

cloudybeach

The rains had come, blocking the blue sky. I love the rain, how it slows down life, to a back-porch-sitting kind of speed. With equal measure, I love the blue skies, especially after the rains have washed them blue – all shades of blue, baby blue, cerulean, cobalt.

Driving home one night, I struggled. Laid it all out there to God – a heart wounded, torn and confused. This transforming from Glory to Glory (2 Cor 3:18), from strength to strength (Psalm 74:7) can be a hard thing. Some days, I’m better at it than others.

Driving up the mountain, to home – I looked up at the back side of the storms moving eastward, still dark, heavy with rain, threatening – not a back-porch-sitting kind of rain.

 

cloudybarn

My son asked me a few days ago, how you know it’s God’s voice. He has some big decisions to make – with sound arguments on both sides of the decisions. A mother’s heart can fill up with pride and break at the same time as our children make decisions, whether it’s the easy-to-shepherd child or the hard-to-shepherd child.

“When you’re looking for an answer, it’s doesn’t come with a Volcano. The earth doesn’t shake to alert you. When He talks to you, it’s in a still, small voice ,” I answered, showing him 1 Kings 19:12). “The more you talk to Him, the more you recognize it.”

Then we talked about wanting to hang out with God, just like you want to hang out with your friends. Learning to hear his voice comes comes with real relationship, not just morning and bed-time prayers. Though I can encourage relationship development with the God who designed him, I cannot force that relationship to exist.

They have to want that relationship, arrange the meeting.  Maybe it’s the type of parenting we do today, so involved, so coaching that our children don’t have the opportunity to initiate – from initiating work ethic at home to develop sports skills to initiating a relationship with God. Yes, God pursues. God’s there – but in order for him to work in our lives, in order to hear that still voice, we have to take that first step – “Draw close to me and I will draw close to you,” he says, “(James 4:8).

“I won’t lie to you,” I said. “There are times when I walk, it’s like God’s looped his arm through mine, and we talk – not necessarily about big things. The more you talk to Him, the more it’s like that . . . Go for a walk with Him. . . often.”

I told him about the time I came home and found his older brother between college classes, just lying on the floor. “I’m soaking,” he said, just listening, waiting, drawing close to hear God.

cloudccloudsThat day I was driving up the mountain home, I saw a bunch of grey, angry thunderheads. I was praying about a challenge, a challenge I really couldn’t control.

cloud1452- and then I saw a blue-sky opening – and in that still, small voice,  God said to me, “Look beyond the clouds to the blue sky.”

. . . and I did . . . I do . . . have faith that just like the blue sky is right there beyond the clouds, so to is God’s plan assured, though the clouds might try to block it!

Praying that this week, when the clouds threaten our peace and our hearts that we look beyond the clouds to the blue sky – and if we can’t see the blue sky for the greyness of the clouds, that we have faith it’s there, hope in a God who never abandons nor forsakes us, who never drops the thread of the plan, though we might drop it or tangle it all up. Praying that if the only way to go from Glory to Glory is challenge by challenge – that we never stop believing He is there, ready to save us, ready to help us make the easy and hard decision.

salt2c_edited-2
I’ve been filling the salt shakers
– pepper shakers, too.
Wiping off finger prints
and dusty build-up,
Crazy Gluing bunny ears,
digging into cabinets
match-making pairs
lost to each other,
finding peace that one snow-woman shaker
found in a what-not box
given when my mother moved to warmth
and wholeness
cannot be reunited with her pepper
snow man

I’ve been filling salt shakers
after the tearing
of growing where I was planted
for a season in uncomfortable
soil
because He called me to it
to be planted there
until right timing
His big and little hands of timing
pull the roots of myself loose
shake out the soil
and carrying me
to a new place where
I am to grow where He plants me.

As He pulls me,
shakes me,
moves me
to a different way to live
the daily
I’ve been left wordless
silent
awed by His faithfulness
His plan
His protection
in this journey
to this place where
filling salt shakers
is so much more than
filling salt shakers

Salt: seasoning, a preservative, a disinfectant, a component of ceremonial offerings, and as a unit of exchange. Salt symbolizes permanence, loyalty, durability, fidelity, usefulness, value, and purification.

“a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak (Ecc 3:7)

Store after the poem coming up. Be patient with me. I’m not used to silence. When my 5th son was born, the anesthetist, after the planned C-Section, said if I was in distress to let him know and he would, “take me out.” A few minutes after my son was born, I became quieter and quieter. My husband told the anesthetist, “She must be in distress. She’s not talking.”

I think I’ve been living a situation where God was definitely in the driver’s seat. It was a harrowing time, a heart-bruising time. I held on to Him, kept focused on Him. I still don’t have a lot of words. It’s a time for mending, a time for silence – but there will be a time when the words come – and I cannot wait. Right now, I’m going to immerse myself in this time of silence, in doing things like filling salt shakers, crazy gluing broken things, baking chocolate chip cookies and finding the carpet beneath the laundry, shoes and backpacks, walking Sadie – and, one day soon, following an idea down a rabbit hole to its conclusion.

salt3_edited-1Linking at Lisha Epperson’s place

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