For the bed is too short to stretch oneself on,
and the covering too narrow to wrap oneself in (Isaiah 28: 20)
We are born with souls too short – too short for refreshing rest, too short to allow for growth. The fibers of our souls initially are too stiff for comfort, too abrasive to wrap around the bones, the mind, the heart where love lives.
How does one live with a soul too short?
This last week was uncomfortable – from Monday through Sunday. My mother had cancer surgery 3 hours away from our house and 5 hours away from her house in the middle of the week. Her surgery could result in a one to three day hospital stay. Add 3 boys still at home, 2 in high school, plus 2 soccer tournaments anywhere from one to three hours in different directions from our home, a golden retriever who recently met the new neighbors – squirrels from the woods who suddenly discovered a new cache of nuts from our Maple trees and frolicking in our Bradford Pear trees. She now has to be leash walked, or, in her euphoria, she finds herself two streets away playing with a family that isn’t hers. I’m also teaching again, twice a week. Did I mention out of town guest?
I imagine my mom felt even more uncomfortable than I did, though.
A soul too short is like a bed too small, like blankets that don’t cover feet on a cold, chill night. How can peace, joy, love and gentleness be given when the soul isn’t big enough to even comfort itself?
How do you love everyone just right -filling them up with what they need the way they need it – when time and space result in half of everything dangling over the foot of the bed, like an overgrown teenage boy?
How do I “do” everything just right, when I’m just not consistently good at being good – with the right words and the right actions? When my goodness isn’t big enough to wrap around a need like a soft, warm, worn-in quilt?
. . . or when there just aren’t words right enough to cover moments or situations?
In a normal daily, I plan time for moments requiring more – more time, more attention, more me, more patience, more goodness. I try to add time to cover short-sheeted moments. Frustratingly, no matter how much I plan, I fall short.
It’s humbling when my children look at me in a you-missed-it-mom moment, and, all I can think is – “Imagine me without God.” Even when I run short in those moments, I know that because of Him, I am not as short on goodness as I would be without Him.
There was not enough of the good in me to stretch and cover the needs of this week. The soul blanket I was born with? It couldn’t have covered the big toe of my week.
Our soul blankets grow and soften in the outpouring of a Holy Spirit washing. Only then do the fibers of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, self-control and goodness soften for comfort, and in the softening, expand and grow stronger.
Me without God cannot walk well through a week like last week. Me without God cannot love the way I want to love without God. Me without God is no comfort at all.
“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely” (Galatians 5: 22-23).
His Holy Spirit stretches me beyond myself. Everything He calls me to be in? The blanket of my soul will be able to cover it – gracefully. Even in the missed-it moments – grace will emerge.
“I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16 – 19)
Last week, my out-of-town guests and I went on a Monday morning photo journey to the Little Creek Farm and its pumpkins where I was strengthened through friendship – and God’s little orange graces – white, green and striped, too!
Tuesday found the car packed, the boys with a schedule and friends to check on them – and my husband and I drove to Atlanta. God surrounded my mom with an incredible support team: her doctor who did the surgery – and my brother, my mother’s friend, my husband and I – and my cousin – 12 hours older than me (our moms – sisters – shared the same hospital room when we were born) – he’s a minister now who was there on business. He prayed with us, stayed with us through the day. There are no coincidences when God is involved.
My mother loves hugs – arms wrapped around tight hugs. Me? I will gladly hug you to death with words – but too tight arm-wrapped-around hugs feel like I’m suffocating. I held her hand, smoothed her brow, held her arm in hospital walk-abouts and cheered her on with wordy hugs (which have the same suffocating effect on others). I think between all of us, we wrapped her in a love blanket that snugged around her just right.
One of God’s beautiful gifts is a family who works as a team – our family worked like that last week.
Mom left the hospital the day of surgery – and was ready to travel home the next day. My brother drove her all the way home which allowed us to cover the schedule that needed covering at home. His time sacrifice blessed us. We returned home earlier than expected to prepare for a weekend full of schedules and the unplanned challenges that come with the everyday in family – regardless, I think, of its size.
No – I was not all grace last week – but I was who I needed to be to those that needed me.
The God-designed blanket of my soul covered it all.
heart touching post, bless you.
Thank you, Denise! Shalom in your week!
Lovely metaphor. I’ve gone back and read this section three times now: “It’s humbling when my children look at me in a you-missed-it-mom moment, and, all I can think is – “Imagine me without God.” Even when I run short in those moments, I know that because of Him, I am not as short on goodness as I would be without Him.”
I found myself in a small group leading a lesson I was ill-prepared for and faced with a topic about which I had no experience. My blanket was too small. God placed someone in the group who had the knowledge and experience. Yes, sometimes it takes more than one blanket put together.
I like that – sometimes it takes more than one blanket – such a beautiful thought! Thank you for coming by and for your conversation! Shalom!
Beautiful. I especially love “Our soul blankets grow and soften in the outpouring of a Holy Spirit washing. Only then do the fibers of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, self-control and goodness soften for comfort, and in the softening, expand and grow stronger.” Sometimes we place ourselves on the wrong wash cycle, the heavy duty and not the delicate. Expecting too much of ourselves and thinking we have to do it all; but with our heavenly Father as the Cleanser and Creator, we will in the spiritual be just right, even in things look differently in the natural. God bless. Have I told you before … Love your posts :-).
Liana – thank you for your encouragement – and for joining the conversation – and making it more. Yes – sometimes we place ourselves on the wrong wash cycle. Praying that this week, it is a delicate cycle – praying He hand washes us! Shalom friend!
Praying that He hand washes us … that’s beautiful ❤
As always, your words bless me. I’m so glad to hear your mother’s surgery went well and she’s home recovering. ❤️
She’s home doing wonderfully well! I’d much rather run into you OUT of the hospital than in! LOL Your patients are blessed to have you!
Oh, dear friend! I am so sorry you had such a rough week! I do trust your Mom will be fine and things will resume to normal for you soon. So thankful to know that God’s grace was there and sufficient for you. May you feel Him holding you close in the aftermath of the storm. Sending you big hugs! 🙂
Cheryl – I always underestimate the aftermath of storms. That’s usually where I fall apart. I’m strong during the storm – but, oh – my – that aftermath can be a doozy! Thank you for your prayers. This aftermath seemed to gentle itself – though I was exhausted. Thank you for the prayer and hugs! Shalom!
I love this, Maryleigh, and am blessed to be able to say that I have been experiencing this, too: that He will take my best (short) efforts and make everything okay.
I think we were designed to need him – so maybe we are really short – that’s just the way a fallen world makes us feel. Sending you {HUGS}! God’s got you – and He’s not letting go sweet friend! Shalom – pouring over you this week!
Hello, You write beautifully! The scripture just came to life in this post. Glad your family pulled together for your Mother. I miss my Mother so much…
Blessings, Roxy
Hello, Roxy – praying you feel God’s comfort wrap around you in the absence of your mother! Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. Praying his Shalom pour over you this week!
Mary Leigh, What a beautiful metaphor….I’m so glad God’s grace held and sustained you through such a busy week and for how God provided for your mom. I pray she continues to heal well and for God to continue to cover you and your family with His grace and love…((Hugs))
Thank you so much, Dolly! I receive that – that God covers my family with His grace and love – praying He covers you this week, that His Shalom pour over your week!
This is beautiful. I’m so glad the Holy Spirit keeps washing our soul blankets and adding in the fibers that we so desperately need to stretch it out and make it fit for service.
Anita, When my boys were little – some days we did washing of the same items daily. Some days, I “feel” like I need a daily washing! Praying His Shalom cover both this week!
I so enjoy your words! Thanks for this humble and humbling post. And this — His Holy Spirit stretches me beyond myself. Everything He calls me to be in? The blanket of my soul will be able to cover it – gracefully. Even in the missed-it moments – grace will emerge. — such an AMEN! Visiting from Laura’s 🙂
The older I get the more humble and humbling life becomes. I wish I could be who I was designed to be without this stretching – but I am so glad God sent the Holy Spirit to help me do it! Thank you for stopping by, Sheila. Praying that the blanket of your soul covers all your needs this week with grace! Shalom!