Sometimes, the worst place to live is in my head. You know how you avoid those dangerous streets, take another route – and find yourself in bigger danger? Well, there are days it’s like Fagan and his gang are trying to steal the peace in my head – and the sad thing is it’s like I’m Oliver – and I’m picking my own pocket, stealing from my own patch.
I’m facing a challenge right now, trying not to lose any ground. It doesn’t really matter the challenge, between you and me. Challenges can’t be compared. How He made us, planned for us, all that He stuffed inside us – we’re like snowflakes – all unique and one-of-a-kind. What pushes my buttons might not push your buttons. Because of that – judgement and quantifying need to just be set aside.
It’s not that you haven’t walked in my shoes – and I haven’t walked in yours. That’s just one dimension of the walk. It’s how we each were designed to walk. That’s why you might go from point A to point B to Point C while I travel from point D to point B to point G to point A to point C.
Maybe that’s why all snowflakes don’t fall the same way.
I’m standing my ground, swatting at distractions like flies in a summertime kitchen while I’m canning – swatting and focusing on Him.
Focusing like a pitcher in a little league game focuses on signals from his coach. Waiting for the go-ahead.
It’s hard, this not running ahead on the spur of emotion. I feel Him standing there beside me, staying me with His hand, telling me to wait. He knows the perfect moment.
Most importantly, He knows what I am waiting for.
What I am seeing and feeling right now isn’t what He is seeing – though He knows my feelings – knows the battle being raged in this mind of mine, that risks becoming a run-down trap without Him.
No – right now is not where I wanted or planned to be. Yet, it is where I am in His plan – and while I’m standing here – He puts His arm around my shoulder, saying, “Look at the blessings I bring you. Think on them. Focus on what I give you today – and tomorrow, when it is right – you will see how it has all worked out for your good.”
“you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together” (Philippians 4:8-9)
In the middle of broken washing machines and boys learning to hand-wash shirts and pants, and Thanksgiving coming and I’m living behind on time, when thoughts finally are released to chase themselves down a rabbit warren of ideas – the boys come tumbling in bickering, needing help, needing a mom who is engaged and not lost in idea rabbit warrens – in the middle of all this – I need to be intentional in looking for these Father gifts He leaves me – gifts from the King to His daughter.
This week, I am finding them – intentionally, engaged –
as I sit on the opposite side of the counter talking to one son make a Normandy Pie for a school pie-baking contest
or watch a son read directions for homemade ice cream for his Mocha Mud pie – and we end up sharing. He gets the bowl; I get the paddle
tallying up the Freshman’s spiritual gift test – and seeing I did know him after all
Reading results from the Stanford Test, which was the country used until sometime in 2000, to test general knowledge – not tests over textbook content – and seeing my sons shine brightly.
sitting over chili and chicken noodle soup with friends talking about Sticky Faith, Spiritual Gifts and communication for our growing teens
a new washer and dryer, team-folded clothes
A splash of peppermint sweet cream in a blue and white coffee cup
a corn-beef sandwich with Havarty cheese on pumpernickel bread
snow flurries
a son learning to understand himself
grandbaby girl calling out to her Papaw
standing in the midst of these tall boys, trying to get a Christmas photo, their humor bouncing off and swirling around.
A friend willing to come push the camera button
my littlest, so like his daddy, whose robotics team came in 3rd place and is going to state – his first year and he handled his responsibilities coolly, smoothly, wonderfully.
A friend who has gone out of her way to care for me
My Mother-in-Law looking so good and sounding so strong after we almost lost her about 2 weeks ago
Watching my husband’s humor – with me and others – bring a big smile to my face
Nice people in the market place
God protecting my husband when he had another flat tire, this time during the snowburst, on the interstate, after dark (again).
Sons who enjoy coming home
Planning Thanksgiving with my family
Red cranberries, cinnamon sticks and cloves
Lavender Vanilla candles
Sweet people who don’t make me feel graceless in the daily
This Father that helps me when this mind like a house becomes run-down and falling apart.
“People with their minds set on you,
you keep completely whole,
Steady on their feet,
because they keep at it and don’t quit” (Isaiah 26:3)
All photos taken by Blue Cotton Memory in Colonial Williamsburg, Fall 2013 – all houses/buildings which I would love to live in!
it is an interesting place ‘in our head’ isn’t it? You say it so well always.
Beautifully said~
Beautifully said.
Beautiful words. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman’s Word Filled Wednesday! Happy Thanksgiving!
hey there…oh our minds…so powerful …it can do us so much good and so much harm…and yes…learning to live right in the moment…the day…believing His wisdom when He says each day has enoughs trouble of its own. It is dangerous to go “future tripping “…I felt like God told me one day…you can go down that road…but I Am…I Am is present with all the Grace you need…when I walk down into the future…I leave Grace…and oh how the enemy knows to come…to being fear…because we need such Grace for this life… Have a blessed Thanksgiving …seeing all the ways Henloves you !!!!
Your precious heart always bleeds honesty and truth. I love your bleeding heart. And I’m praying for it. May you and that testosterone gang have a very blessed Thanksgiving! xoxox
Sounds like you really have a lot on your plate. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.
I’m sitting here with many other things I should be doing, but I saw you had left me a comment and found my way back here. I am very grateful. This post was a reminder to me…to cling to what I know about God in the midst of my challenge (chronic Lyme disease)…and to realize He is in control. Last year when I probably got Lyme’s I memorized Philippians 4:8-9, because my mind goes to where it shouldn’t too. I will say a prayer for you as I close here…thanks for sharing your journey, we are never alone.
What a beautiful post. And I know a very special someone, dear to me, that needs to see these words. Thank you. Really and truly.
You brought tears to my eyes! My heart goes out to you…in whatever battle you rage at this time, my friend. I love the bluegrass song by Joe Mullins called “Some Kind of War”. As you said, “What pushes my buttons might not push your buttons. Because of that – judgement and quantifying need to just be set aside.” What true and wonderful words! The best thing we can do for each other is to pray and try our utmost to bear one another’s burdens, thus fulfilling the law of Christ. You will be in my prayers during this season of life….may it end in moments of beauty for you. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving encouragement behind. It meant so much. Love, Cheryl
Dear sweet Friend
You are at the right place with your turmoil in your mind; submitted to Jesus. That is when our roots grow deep into the soil of His Life and we get firmly rooted. I heard of a lady who once said when she was fighting this battle that she sometimes finds the familiar streets of hell, more preferable than the unknown and in a way she is right. But keep on looking to Jesus, the only true security we have!
Blessings XX
Mia