Sometimes, the worst place to live is in my head. You know how you avoid those dangerous streets, take another route – and find yourself in bigger danger? Well, there are days it’s like Fagan and his gang are trying to steal the peace in my head – and the sad thing is it’s like I’m Oliver – and I’m picking my own pocket, stealing from my own patch.
I’m facing a challenge right now, trying not to lose any ground. It doesn’t really matter the challenge, between you and me. Challenges can’t be compared. How He made us, planned for us, all that He stuffed inside us – we’re like snowflakes – all unique and one-of-a-kind. What pushes my buttons might not push your buttons. Because of that – judgement and quantifying need to just be set aside.
It’s not that you haven’t walked in my shoes – and I haven’t walked in yours. That’s just one dimension of the walk. It’s how we each were designed to walk. That’s why you might go from point A to point B to Point C while I travel from point D to point B to point G to point A to point C.
Maybe that’s why all snowflakes don’t fall the same way.
Focusing like a pitcher in a little league game focuses on signals from his coach. Waiting for the go-ahead.
It’s hard, this not running ahead on the spur of emotion. I feel Him standing there beside me, staying me with His hand, telling me to wait. He knows the perfect moment.
Most importantly, He knows what I am waiting for.
What I am seeing and feeling right now isn’t what He is seeing – though He knows my feelings – knows the battle being raged in this mind of mine, that risks becoming a run-down trap without Him.
No – right now is not where I wanted or planned to be. Yet, it is where I am in His plan – and while I’m standing here – He puts His arm around my shoulder, saying, “Look at the blessings I bring you. Think on them. Focus on what I give you today – and tomorrow, when it is right – you will see how it has all worked out for your good.”
“you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together” (Philippians 4:8-9)
In the middle of broken washing machines and boys learning to hand-wash shirts and pants, and Thanksgiving coming and I’m living behind on time, when thoughts finally are released to chase themselves down a rabbit warren of ideas – the boys come tumbling in bickering, needing help, needing a mom who is engaged and not lost in idea rabbit warrens – in the middle of all this – I need to be intentional in looking for these Father gifts He leaves me – gifts from the King to His daughter.
This week, I am finding them – intentionally, engaged –
as I sit on the opposite side of the counter talking to one son make a Normandy Pie for a school pie-baking contest
or watch a son read directions for homemade ice cream for his Mocha Mud pie – and we end up sharing. He gets the bowl; I get the paddle
tallying up the Freshman’s spiritual gift test – and seeing I did know him after all
Reading results from the Stanford Test, which was the country used until sometime in 2000, to test general knowledge – not tests over textbook content – and seeing my sons shine brightly.
sitting over chili and chicken noodle soup with friends talking about Sticky Faith, Spiritual Gifts and communication for our growing teens
a new washer and dryer, team-folded clothes
A splash of peppermint sweet cream in a blue and white coffee cup
a corn-beef sandwich with Havarty cheese on pumpernickel bread
a son learning to understand himself
grandbaby girl calling out to her Papaw
standing in the midst of these tall boys, trying to get a Christmas photo, their humor bouncing off and swirling around.
A friend willing to come push the camera button
my littlest, so like his daddy, whose robotics team came in 3rd place and is going to state – his first year and he handled his responsibilities coolly, smoothly, wonderfully.
A friend who has gone out of her way to care for me
My Mother-in-Law looking so good and sounding so strong after we almost lost her about 2 weeks ago
Watching my husband’s humor – with me and others – bring a big smile to my face
Nice people in the market place
God protecting my husband when he had another flat tire, this time during the snowburst, on the interstate, after dark (again).
Sons who enjoy coming home
Planning Thanksgiving with my family
Red cranberries, cinnamon sticks and cloves
Lavender Vanilla candles
Sweet people who don’t make me feel graceless in the daily
This Father that helps me when this mind like a house becomes run-down and falling apart.
“People with their minds set on you,
you keep completely whole,
Steady on their feet,
because they keep at it and don’t quit” (Isaiah 26:3)