After school conversations are like emotional popcorn in a bag. Opening that popcorn bag of emotion is hazardous:steam released may burn.
I guess that is the result of stuffing all your emotions inside all day long, wanting to let pent-up ideas and frustrations rush out your mouth from your mind – like popcorn in a bag. Handled with care, those conversations contain a savory and thoroughly enjoyable potential.
“I’m sure I got all of them right,” my son said about the BIG English Test. “Except for maybe 3.”
It reminded me of another son who “bought a dog for free from a lady at the hospital.”
You can’t buy a dog for free – and you can’t get them all right if you miss 3.
A rousing linguistic debate ensued punctuated with lots of smiles and just plan fun.
Some conversations are like popcorn – or maybe more like the dross to the silver of the day. It is the other conversations, where the dross of the day has been sloughed off and the pure silver reveals itself.
“Select dross from silver so that a pure item may come forth” (Proverbs 25:4).
Our bedtime, tuck-in conversations are the opposite of after-school emotional pop-corn conversation. They are not so one-sided, not so confrontational, they don’t run over you, like steam rushing out of a pop-corn bag – and words are carefully chosen for exact meaning – it is where the pure silver reveals itself.
It starts out with simple questions about each teacher, the lunch menu, lunch table buddies, whether he garnered more freckles today and came home with the same amount of fingers and toes he left with.
“Real questions, Mom,” he sighs, more than dross, wanting silver.
“Did you pray for 3 people today,” I asked.
“Two,” he answered. The humor leaves us. The heart reveals itself. “I feel empty inside, here,” he said, pointing to deep inside. “Like God’s not there anymore.”
My mother heart catches. It has been a tough month for my boys who have lived their faith in crisis (click here).
“When you feel empty like that, God’s calling you to spend time with Him. That’s the only way to fill that emptiness,” I explained. “Satan uses that feeling to make you feel like God doesn’t care, that He’s really not there. Don’t be tricked. Some people try to fill it with drugs, causing trouble at school, being a bully -a new girl friend every week. The only thing that can fill that emptiness is spending time with God.”
Earlier that evening, he’d been looking for his bible. “That’s why I was looking for my bible,” he explained.
We talked about the difference between being little and grown up. As we grow, God calls us to a more intentional relationship with Him. He turns 14 soon – we talked about how at age 13, according to Judeo-Christian history, he is a man – and what God wants out of a relationship with a man.
Yes, believe like a child – but God also wants an intentional relationship – a sitting at the dinner table relationship over a cup of coffee instead of running off to play as soon as your tummy is full.
We prayed together, that He would seek this Father God out before he went to sleep. In the seeking, I prayed he would listen and hear what God had to say to Him.
Prayed that “the Lord will guide him; that He will satisfy my son’s needs in a sun-scorched land and strengthen his frame. That he will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail(paraphrased,Isaiah 58:11).
That feeling of emptiness he expressed told me my little guy is not so little.
Those bed-time conversations call me to accountability. Ironically, during the next few days, I battled that feeling of emptiness, that alone-ness, too – like I was being herded into empty isolation. I pulled out my bible, the scriptures in my heart, and went visiting for quality, one-on-one time with my Father. He cleared out that feeling of isolation, emptiness, mended those boundaries designed to keep the stealer of peace out.
I tried to linger with Him, like I would with a friend over a cup of coffee.
Everyday living continued on, as well as our bedtime routine.
I asked about teachers, lunch buddies, the menu – and that empty feeling.
He bounded up from his blankets, “It’s gone. I’m just happy.”
Faith like a child, growing intentional – the pure silver of the soul revealing itself.
What kind of choice are you making with your emptiness?
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5:6).
Treating Boys as Knights in Training
Delayed Adulthood Devastates our Sons
I love your allegory! What a powerful conversation you had! I hope JDaniel and I will talk like this someday.
What a blessing you are to those boys! That insight and compassion is a gift from God. Thank you for this. I’m feeling a little empty today, too. Your words speak truth. Grace to you, and an early Mother’s Day blessing.
This is great! I have two boys, and we are going through some big changes. I appreciate how you ministered to me today!
Lovely, I am laughing and smiling. Loved talking to you last night too!
this is hard and good. i love that promise, to have need satisfied in a sun-scorched land. you are helping him stretch those roots, to soak up living water and flourish.
Wow… this is so special. It is simply beautiful, causing my heart to say “yes”, I want that, I need that — to linger more and let those tender conversations that the Spirit of God seems to permeate as the noise is hushed and we are slowed ready for sleep.
I don’t want to regret missing those bedtime moments — those bedtime words. You have inspired me, here.
Thank you…
smiles…what a cool story and you made me smile big when he came back in the end and said it was gone nad he was happy…i like the lingering too…love the bedtime moments
Good mama! For your son to recognize his emptiness–and tell you about it–is huge in itself. But your advice was also spot-on.
What a precious post! I had to remind myself to breath. Such wonderful conversations with your sweet boy. Bless you!
What a beautiful mother you are, Maryleigh. I’m blessed in reading you.
What a gift… That your son can tell you when he feels empty. I felt that way a lot as a teen, but never shared that with my parents.
Our empty spot waits for us to extend an invitation to God; He’s faithful to answer. Why am I so slow?
So beautiful. Thanks for posting.
Megan
“Faith like a child, growing intentional – the pure silver of the soul revealing itself.”…..love that.
enjoyed your allegory, too, since popcorn is my favorite snack…and am striving to handle my child’s heart with care just like this…beautiful post, friend!
There is nothing in this world that can fill that void – it only comes through spending time with the Father.
Blessings,
Joan
that he could articulate this to you…and be this real with you… and your answer to him… speaks HUGELY of your parenting and the God in you.
Oh the precious depths of a mama’s heart. MaryLeigh, I am so thankful your sons have a mama who seeks to see their hearts, to speak to the truth of their experiences, who understands that life is hard, even for the young, and who points them faithfully to their Father. Thank you so much for linking up. 🙂
Beautiful post. I am missing those after school and evening talks with my boy but love the reminder of the time and training days that have helped turn him into a man.
What a great post, ML… just arrived from a three week ministry trip… and I was so glad to hear from you. Beautiful hearts your boys have, dear friend. And their mother has a beautiful heart too. Thank you for keeping our blog connection alive. I appreciate your friendship.
And there it is – “It’s gone. I’m happy.” The perfect line. Son and I still get some alone and talk time even tho he’s almost 30 now. They are even more precious than ever and I value them like pieces of gold.
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