“The Lord is a God who knows” ~ 1 Samuel 2: 3b
While we have a soul-window view to God’s plan for our lives, God has the view of the entire plan and contingencies for our lives. He knows all about our joys, hurts and struggles, yet we only trust him with a 2×2 portion of one window pane in a 10 pane window’s worth of truth from our souls – when he already knows it all – more than we know. The Lord is a God who knows! Our humanity would have us hide when God’s amazing grace calls us to come and have our wounds bound and our heart’s healed.
Hannah felt empty, though she had a husband who gave her double portions, who told her she was more important to him than anything in the world. She was belittled and bullied by her husband’s other wife. As she poured out her heart to the Lord at church, the priest misinterpreted her actions and accused her of being drunk. I imagine she wondered if God saw her, if he knew her heart-challenges, and if he recognized the intent of her heart.
She had dreams, you see. Dreams of children. Dreams, whether she had woven them herself into her identity, whether her culture had woven them into her identity, or whether God wove them into her identity, she had them. These dreams filtered her self views and her life views. She either wouldn’t or couldn’t shake the want of them out of herself to savor the blessings she had.
Have you ever been there – with a dream? An unfulfilled dream that hasn’t born itself out of you? And you couldn’t pull yourself out of the discontent growing out of that dream’s lack?
Or maybe it just wasn’t a dream, but a situation you couldn’t shake, that filtered your self view and your life view, one that made it difficult to savor the goodness of the blessings you have right before you?
The want of dream just might drive you to pour your anguish out to the God who sees you (Genesis 16: 13), the God who knows (1 Samuel 2: 3b), just like it did Hannah.
Hannah came to recognize that God knows. Maybe she logos knew it – knew what the words meant: God knows. But maybe she didn’t know it when she languished about unfulfilled dreams, or when she was bullied about her failure, or when she poured her heart out in church – maybe she didn’t really know it, the rhema, Gods-word-come-alive-knows-it. But after she poured out her heart, poured out everything all the way down to her soul toes, after she went home – and God gave her dream life, she rhema-knew it – recognized that Yahweh, the Great I Am, the one who led her ancestors out of Egypt, she knew it – all the way down to her the toes of her soul: the Lord is a God who knows.
God knows – all about you, all about me.
He knows when I was little that I doubted I could be faithful to him forever, that I worried I would be a Peter who would deny him.
He knows I don’t like getting in trouble, that making mistakes makes me feel like I let people down, that guilt over every wrong I think I’ve done – whether real or perceived – haunts me.
God knows every jealousy, every wrong step, every unkind word, every single mistake I have made, that sometimes I’d rather dive into a bowl of ice cream over a problem than let him comfort me.
God knows my fears – fears that I wouldn’t admit to him because I didn’t want to disappoint him. Silly me! God already knew.
He knows . . . the heart-lift my soul experiences when a cardinal darts down a road in front of me. He knows I like honey in my tea. He knows autumn is my favorite season. He knows the dreams I have – and the hopes I have for my family. He knows my dismay that people don’t really want to know, “How are you” when they ask. He knows I’m a literalist who has trouble navigating the nuance of banter.
He knows the intent of my heart when others do not.
Lately, I have been facing the fact that God knows – and I have stopped trying to hide my fears from him, my worries, hurts, and struggles from him. The big and little stuff. He already knows. . . .
He already knows.
He was just waiting for me to recognize that I was fearing, hurting, worrying, struggling – just waiting for me to bring it to Him. He waits because until I recognize what I am holding on to and recognize that I need to ask him for help, am willing to give it to him, He cannot help me.
I tell my boys, “God’s not your mama. Your mama wants to barge in and fix it for you. God waits to be invited in to your soul situations.”
When I barge in to try and fix my boys’ – or anyone’s problems, it just leads to resentment. My actions aren’t seen as help. It’s seen as interference. If anything, it just causes the one I’m trying to help to hold on tighter, to hide it deeper, to burro further into their problem.
God knows when we bring a problem to him, that we, ourselves, are ready to be helped, ready to hand our helplessness over to him. It’s a hard thing, handing our helplessness over – whether it’s to another person or, for the first time, to God.
God knows what’s going on in your mind, body and soul. He’s known probably before you did. You don’t have to be ashamed that you feared your problem more than you trusted him. He already knows – and is waiting for you to just come to him, to tell him all about it, to ask him to help you, to lift the burden off you. He understands the whys better than even you do.
He knows. . . and he’s waiting!
“. . .for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.” ~ 1 Samuel 2: 3b
Handing over our helplessness — because God knows and is waiting to help… No truer words. Lots to chew on here, Maryleigh. Thank you.
Thanks for coming by, Susan! Praying God’s Shalom over your week! ~ Maryleigh
Yes, it truly is such a blessing that God knows everything about us, even the ugly parts. “He knows I don’t like getting in trouble, that making mistakes makes me feel like I let people down, that guilt over every wrong I think I’ve done – whether real or perceived – haunts me.” I so relate to this!
Maybe we just have to be honest with ourselves first before we can be honest with God – but he knows even before we do. Praying that this week, both of us release the guilt we beat ourselves up with! Shalom, Lisa!!! ~ Maryleigh
I so enjoyed reading your scripture reminders of what a loving a patient God that loves us. It is hard to let go and let God; especially myself as being a Mom, it seems I think I can fix things. You’re right though because when I do, things get helped from God in a much better way than I can fashion.
Thanks for visiting and commenting so I could come visit your blog.
Peabea@Peabea Scribbles
It’s been a hard lesson as a mom of 5 sons learning that my “fix-its” are not always God’s fix-its. I’m learning to draw my hands away – and lift them up instead! This mom gig is the greatest soul-teaching tool of all! Thanks for coming by!!!
What a great reminder that God knows all about us. He loves us with an everlasting love and there is no place to hide from Him. What a blessing that he is always with us offering mercy, grace and forgiveness with His love.
Blessings to you!
It is a blessing that he is always with us, offering us the good stuff – He is a vigilant father who doesn’t lose us though we might lose track of him. Thanks for stopping by Gayl and adding to the discussion.
He knows because He created us and when we stop trying so hard be that and realize we already are,the battle is over.
Yes! Yes! I cannot try hard enough – I’m not disciplined enough, smart enough, enough enough to gain salvation through works – but, oh, the sweet beauty of his amazing grace!
I love what you’ve told your sons about God not being like a mama who barges in! It’s funny but so very true! And Autumn is my favorite season too and I fear will be cut too short this year since the warm winds of summer keep blowing in y neck of the woods! Eek! I also want to know more about you, Maryleigh and truly mean it when I say it, girlfriend! Such an inspiring post spoken with your signature eloquence and honey-sweet words! Oh yes, and that reminds me, I love honey in my tea too! 😉
It’s been unusually cooler here. I love it! Hoping lots of snow will follow in January. Yes! We need to sit long and talk much over just right cups of tea! What a blessing that would be! One Day, Beth!!!! We will! ~ Maryleigh
I’ve got two sons and can relate. Well said! They don’t want my fixing and I have learned to recognizing my habit of it. So helpful when we can learn what doesn’t work. Lol
What a beautiful, good God we have!