It was a June evening when my second son married. Chaos had been hood-winked by a Thursday evening wedding. The couple was to leave on a cruise the following Saturday morning, so a Thursday evening wedding it was.
Because the bride’s family lived out-of-town, she invited me to help. I gladly let her take the reins. How I enjoyed being invited along for the ride! She took me with her to the baker, the caterer – and anything else in between. As a mother-of-sons-only, this invitation was a beautiful blessing – a God-sees-me blessing.
The wedding was small, about 40, a family-only wedding, on a farm retired to host celebrations. A young couple, the husband with his cello, the wife with her violin played, their music wafting through the ceremony and celebration of this sweet young couple. Family came from the east coast, the west coast and in between.
Maybe it was because of the un-traditional weekday timing. Maybe because it wasn’t designed to be a blow-out. Maybe that’s why chaos was kept at bay that delightful June evening – when Spring still ruled, just-right coolness fell over the party, and fireflies attended, and evening let twilight linger gracefully: gentle breezes, gentle music and family at its best reaching out to meet each other, reaching to begin friendships.
I’m learning to stop inviting chaos into the daily – whether it’s a big event daily or a regular daily with all its dishes, dirty socks and Sadie needing a walk.
The boys had all outgrown the jackets, dress pants, shoes and starched shirts and had to be fitted for new ones. All of it had been organized down to the socks days before. No tuxedos, but how handsome they all looked in suits, jackets, ties and shiny shoes. No last-minute chaotic scrambles.
Home had been mowed, mulched, trimmed and arranged by four of the boys with a team-work camaraderie that was a seen moment born out of a “faith-is-the-substance-of-things-hoped-for,-the-evidence-of-things-not-seen” belief. Brothers in a brotherhood work best when they know they’re needed by each other. Being needed is to be seen.
I tempted chaos, though. The night before the wedding, I finished putting together bright-looking fabric banners for the Friday morning breakfast. The morning of the wedding, my mother used her special brand of magic to create white roses, pink roses and baby’s breath arrangements for dinner table-tops. My husband took the wedding poem I’d written, What are you Doing for the Rest of Your Life II accompanied by the art work my son’s mother-in-law-to-be had created . He delivered 50 copies by lunch time for each place setting. I was also prepping for the breakfast the day after the wedding: Blueberry French toast, Pigs in a Garden with country ham, biscuits, sausage gravy and chocolate gravy.
There was so much to think about, about 40 people to think about, and, not the least, were thoughts about my once little boy all grown up and marrying a sweet girl I’d prayed for since he was little.
There were so many people who needed to be seen – really seen, really met – because all who came loved part of this new whole – and love like that deserves to be seen and met.
I pulled the evening bag out of my top drawer, the one my mother had pulled out of her top drawer for my very first formal dance – because, I guess, every girl needs a handbag to go with a beautiful dress. She always made sure 10 cents were tucked away in the inside pocket in case of emergencies. It was a twenties-looking confection with silver beads and threads around and about a silver-beaded flower embroidered on white silk, lined with satin.
I pulled it out of my top drawer, and paused, thinking of my three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter who had a new baby sister. Weddings risk being stuffy affairs for little ones. They have to not spoil their dress clothes, keep quiet at the right times when they don’t even know what all the right times are yet, and this little one who gets all our attention when she comes to visit, risked not being seen. Since it was a small wedding and she was the first grandchild, she would be the only little one walking around – no playmates for the swing on the big oak tree. No playmates for impromptu tag when the grown-ups aren’t paying attention. Even in big events, like weddings, when all eyes are on the bride and groom – each person still needs to be seen to truly belong.
I carried the purse through the house, pulling a tiny, pink heart-shaped sucker from a vase I’d put sweets in for the next day. I wandered to my thinking room, where there’s a child’s table, a Mrs. Potts tea set and a mischief of tiny mice waiting for Ava to come play. Since it was going to be a grande occasion, I tucked the Prince and Princess Mouse into my purse, snapping it shut!
What little girl doesn’t want to carry around a sparkly purse filled with a prince and princess mouse. I could just envision it, the snapping open, the snapping close, and the little mice in-between all that elegant snapping. All was ready!
Maybe it’s just me, maybe sometimes you feel it, too – the little bit of Hagar within each of us who so needs to be seen by someone who loves us. Hagar only had God. God didn’t tell her that her life journey would be easy – but the relief she felt is palpable, relief that God saw her, the realization that she wasn’t alone. He was there, El Roi, the God who sees me – and sometimes the realization that He is the only one who sees us must be enough – for her – and you, and me.
“So she called Adonai who was speaking to her, “You are the God who sees me.” For she said, “Would I have gone here indeed looking for Him who looks after me?” (Genesis 16:13, Tree of Life Translation).
“Yes! He saw me; and then I saw him!” (Genesis 16:13, The Message)
Maybe that’s why it’s so important to reach beyond our inside circle, to reach outside our comfortable companions – and find the Hagars, the ones who don’t know God sees them, who feel invisible, who don’t have a comfortable inside place with someone who loves them. Sometimes we have to realize He sees us – because he stepped right in front of us – either literally, or through you or me, or in the Lord’s own mysterious way of making himself known when our words cannot.
When Ava saw me, she ran, hurtling her little self at me, wrapping her arms around my legs for a hug. I knelt down, and asked her if she’d take care of my purse for me during the ceremony and festivities, if she’d take care of what was inside.
Her face lit up and broke into a smile, her little fingers snapping open her Muddy’s purse, to find her two friends inside. She took care of it all evening, until it was time to leave for bedtime.
Chaos tried to find a way in to the wedding. The wrong cake was delivered. It was forgotten that Brooks and Junior, the two golden retrievers, were to walk down the aisle. A few little things here and there. But those things? They weren’t seen then. We didn’t realize about the cake and the dogs until the next day – and the next day, well, we laughed about chaos’ attempt to be seen at the wedding.
It was a day of good things seen – a couple saying their vows to God under an oak tree with a swing, family members seen laughing, telling stories, weaving their stories into ours, smiles and joy were seen, love, too – and a little girl snapping open and pulling out a prince and princess mouse from inside her Muddy’s purse.
“Therefore Yeshua answered them, “Amen, amen I tell you, the Son cannot do anything by Himself. He can do only what He sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows Him everything He does. He will show Him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed” (John 5:19-20, Tree of Life Translation).
This was a perfect message for me today❤️
I am so glad, Carra! Praying God fills your week with his Shalom! ~ Maryleigh
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I love the vision of her opening the purse to see her friends. This was inspiring and touching – to know you are and to be seen really is so important.
I’m late in send you this note! I so like how you “see” what’s inside this post – but, then, friends always see what you’re trying to say!!! Hugs to you, Nan! Thank you for stopping by to peak into Muddy’s purse! ~ Maryleigh
Always so blessed to visit your site. This is a beautiful reminder to find the ones who don’t know that God sees them. Congrats on the wedding; it sounds like it was indeed lovely!
I think sometimes when I don’t feel seen in a crowded room, that God is urging me to find the other person(s) who don’t feel seen. Kind of like when you’re in a class and you have a question – and you discover that half the class has the same question? Thank you for coming by and taking a peak inside Muddy’s purse! Praying God’s Shalom in your week! ~ Maryleigh
Thank you for taking us by the hand and inviting us to peek into a very beautiful occasion for your family. Sublime, busy, sacred, memorable.
I loved the details you shared …
Thank you, Linda, for coming back and taking a peak inside Muddy’s purse! It’s taken me 18 months, waiting on God to help me get this just right! Praying God’s shalom fill your week! ~ Maryleigh
You not only write beautiful poetry, Maryleigh, but you live your life like a poet–creating moments that capture your sweet granddaughter’s attention, love and imagination. I love how you laced how God sees each one of us all throughout the chronicling of your sons’ wedding. I can so relate–especially as a mom of boys. I am experiencing some of those unseen moments as I take a step or two into in-lawhood. I can’t wait to talk face-to-face with you about some of these mom of boys issues. Next time I’m coming through, I’ll be looking you up, sweet friend!
Yes, Beth! We need to sit long and talk much! Moms of boys only has the potential to be a very lonely, isolated place in our current culture – but God never leaves us isolated and alone. He sends us blessing friendships ! I’m looking forward to that coffee! ~ Maryleigh
How nice to think back to a warm summer day! It looks like it was a totally beautiful wedding. Such great memories you have. Chaos did not win. 🙂
This is one of those post, Lisa, where I knew I had to write about “Inside Muddy’s Purse” – and I knew the heart of what I wanted to say – but I knew God needed to be the lead writer in this for the right words to come. It’s taken me 18 months – of waiting in faithful expectancy that at the right time, He would pull it all together for me! No,Chaos did not win – and so much blessing did! Shalom, friend! ~Maryleigh
Thank you for sharing your beautiful day in the life of your family with us! It is so true we need to assure all the Hagars among us that each is seen and valued.
Thanks for participating in the Loft with us!
Thank you for coming by Jerralea. It so enjoyed visiting at The Loft! I look forward to coming back.
Your words are a treasure. The purse reminds me of a couple of evening bags I have of my mom’s that I purposely chose to carry one at each of my son’s wedding this past year. I do not have a granddaughters to take care of my purse but what a special moment for yours.
The wedding sounded like the perfect beginning to a new life for the married couple. Thank you for sharing these moments with us.
Maybe one day, Mary – there will be a granddaughter to take care of your purse – whether it’s a special grandma-granddaughter day, an ice cream trip or one Easter Sunday. I think that’s the hardest part of being a mom of sons only – not having daughters to pass things like evening bags down to – but God – he knows our hearts – and he fulfills them – in beautiful, surprising ways! Shalom, friend! ~Maryleigh
What a lovely story to share! Glad you came to the Loft to share it. I enjoy reading new blogs. Your writing is lovely. The picture made me picture being your grand-daughter! I love it! I’m a sucker for kid stuff. Thanks for this vivid recollection of your son’s wedding. We, too, have two sons that are far from marrying. But, I pray they have sweet love found one day that is full of Christ and charisma! Love, Jenn
I’m so glad you came by, Jenn! I have two married sons, one out of the nest and two in high school. I’ve prayed since they were all little for their future spouses – and God’s answers are always better than I can imagine! Shalom! ~Maryleigh
So wonderful that a loving grandma sees her little one and follows the example of her Heavenly Father who sees her.
It is a blessing to be a grandma to these little ones! Thank you for coming by, Ruth! Praying God’s Shalom fill your week! ~ Maryleigh
So glad I wandered over to your place today Maryleigh. You have such a beautiful way of pulling your readers in. I’m so appreciative of this reminder to take the time to really see those around me. Oh, how blessed your granddaughter is to have a grandmother like you. May your year be filled with creating delightful moments and memories.
Thank you Wanda for the sweet encouragement! After having 5 sons, it is a pink delight to have granddaughters! Praying God’s Shalom in your week!
It sounds like a wonderful memory to be savored for years to come. What a sweet idea with the purse!
Since my son married a year and a half ago, I’ve been holding on to the idea of “Inside Muddy’s Purse” – and I waited for God to pull all the threads of what was in my heart. He never fails. Thank you for coming by, Sarah! Praying God’s Shalom into your week! ~Maryleigh
What a beautiful memory. I love what you say here about reaching out to people who might feel unseen. We need to let them know He does see them.
Even at a wedding, surrounded by people who know you, people can feel unseen. I’ve learned that if I feel unseen, there are others standing near me that feel that way, too. That realization has helped me reach out – to see those around me so much better. Thanks for coming by Betsy!
I love this post in so many ways!
Thank you for stopping by Elizabeth! This has been on the back burner for about a year and a half. It’s one of those posts that I knew at the right time God would let me express what was in my heart – so I waited.
Somehow I landed here this morning needing to read these words. Thank you for your gift of seeing those who need to be seen. Thank God for his seeing always.