He was little, fresh to socializing – he was 4. We had a play date and he hung back, leaning against me over coffee with a friend.
Unsure. Fearful – not knowing what to make of new.
“It’s o.k. to stay here until your comfortable,” I said quietly. “When you’re ready, you can go.”
He waited, thinking, absorbing, taking it all in. His little body relaxing, his feet starting to twitch.
“I’m ready now,” he said about 10 minutes later – and off he went to play with a new friend in a new place.
I knew what it was like to be little, to be outside of home, to be uncomfortable in a new place. It always flummoxed my mom who would push me saying, “Go play. Make knew friends.” She didn’t know or understand this shy little girl – she never saw her at home. At home I could fly, I soared – it was home. It was comfortable.
New people, new things terrified. New people, though, clipped my wings, left me uncomfortable – and the pushing made it grow – because the me inside always needed to time find balance, an inside- equilibrium – before I unleashed me – I had to know there was room for me.
It took me years to learn that it was o.k. to hold back, to become comfortable – that God wasn’t surprised. He knew I needed that time to master the awkwardness of newness – and I wanted my sons to learn that.
My little guy, I gave him time to learn it’s o.k. to find time to become comfortable in new situations – until experience by experience – it became easier, more graceful to see how he fit in new places. It’s o.k. to take time to become comfortable – it’s a skill – a necessary skill to let the inside get used to the outside.
Comfortable enough to stretch those wings and soar – not just at home.
Oh. That was so sweet. And precious. Thank you for sharing it with us on this FMF! You write very well and from the heart. To know that this is unedited makes it even more telling of your talent. Happy Mother’s Day!
~Cassandra, your FMF “neighbor”
That is so me. At 57 I am still like that. It takes me a while…sometimes months…to feel like I fit. I have never thought of it as, that is how God made me before. I just always wanted it to be easy as I saw it was for others. Thank you for sharing this.
Blessings…Chelle
I am like that, too! I loved this post and loved how you connected with your son over this.
Love this post! This was me as a little girl…very shy and needed to feel out situations before I felt comfortable. I’m much more outgoing now, but still have those moments when I need to process the new before I’m ready to leap in. Thank you for your words today…have a wonderful weekend! 🙂