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Posts Tagged ‘2 Cor 3:18’

cloudybeach

The rains had come, blocking the blue sky. I love the rain, how it slows down life, to a back-porch-sitting kind of speed. With equal measure, I love the blue skies, especially after the rains have washed them blue – all shades of blue, baby blue, cerulean, cobalt.

Driving home one night, I struggled. Laid it all out there to God – a heart wounded, torn and confused. This transforming from Glory to Glory (2 Cor 3:18), from strength to strength (Psalm 74:7) can be a hard thing. Some days, I’m better at it than others.

Driving up the mountain, to home – I looked up at the back side of the storms moving eastward, still dark, heavy with rain, threatening – not a back-porch-sitting kind of rain.

 

cloudybarn

My son asked me a few days ago, how you know it’s God’s voice. He has some big decisions to make – with sound arguments on both sides of the decisions. A mother’s heart can fill up with pride and break at the same time as our children make decisions, whether it’s the easy-to-shepherd child or the hard-to-shepherd child.

“When you’re looking for an answer, it’s doesn’t come with a Volcano. The earth doesn’t shake to alert you. When He talks to you, it’s in a still, small voice ,” I answered, showing him 1 Kings 19:12). “The more you talk to Him, the more you recognize it.”

Then we talked about wanting to hang out with God, just like you want to hang out with your friends. Learning to hear his voice comes comes with real relationship, not just morning and bed-time prayers. Though I can encourage relationship development with the God who designed him, I cannot force that relationship to exist.

They have to want that relationship, arrange the meeting.  Maybe it’s the type of parenting we do today, so involved, so coaching that our children don’t have the opportunity to initiate – from initiating work ethic at home to develop sports skills to initiating a relationship with God. Yes, God pursues. God’s there – but in order for him to work in our lives, in order to hear that still voice, we have to take that first step – “Draw close to me and I will draw close to you,” he says, “(James 4:8).

“I won’t lie to you,” I said. “There are times when I walk, it’s like God’s looped his arm through mine, and we talk – not necessarily about big things. The more you talk to Him, the more it’s like that . . . Go for a walk with Him. . . often.”

I told him about the time I came home and found his older brother between college classes, just lying on the floor. “I’m soaking,” he said, just listening, waiting, drawing close to hear God.

cloudccloudsThat day I was driving up the mountain home, I saw a bunch of grey, angry thunderheads. I was praying about a challenge, a challenge I really couldn’t control.

cloud1452– and then I saw a blue-sky opening – and in that still, small voice,  God said to me, “Look beyond the clouds to the blue sky.”

. . . and I did . . . I do . . . have faith that just like the blue sky is right there beyond the clouds, so to is God’s plan assured, though the clouds might try to block it!

Praying that this week, when the clouds threaten our peace and our hearts that we look beyond the clouds to the blue sky – and if we can’t see the blue sky for the greyness of the clouds, that we have faith it’s there, hope in a God who never abandons nor forsakes us, who never drops the thread of the plan, though we might drop it or tangle it all up. Praying that if the only way to go from Glory to Glory is challenge by challenge – that we never stop believing He is there, ready to save us, ready to help us make the easy and hard decision.

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The house where I came from
where long before I came the dog trot became
a hallway and grew stairs
where the original kitchen became a reading room
with a big fireplace
with a door that once led to a porch
that became the new kitchen
that became
a small bedroom
with a door
that led to a newer porch
that became a family room with a floor furnace
with two doors
one that led to a kitchen and dining room built after the war
that didn’t turn into anything else
and the dining room had the most doors
one that led
to a room that I only knew as
the parlor
where Christmas was celebrated
bridge was played
where the big occasions
were remarked upon
and where one could always find
a quiet place
to contemplate
everything

“In Him the whole structure is joined (bound, welded) together harmoniously, and it continues to rise (grow, increase) into a holy temple in the Lord [a sanctuary dedicated, consecrated, and sacred to the presence of the Lord]”(Ephesians 2: 21)

Long ago, all alone, I was a one room house. Marriage revealed a before unseen door that opened into another room. When I first walked to take my place at the classroom podium, upon returning home I found yet another door where none had been.With each child, other doors revealed themselves. Change adds to the house that is me.

When I was 7, dressed up for my First Communion, a door appeared – but I didn’t know I was allowed to open it. When I was 35, I opened it – and walked into a sunroom that led onto a yard, that led to a pool that led to a secret garden. When I walked back, there were more additional rooms – a library, a media room, a gift-wrapping room, a room just for contemplating. There is so much more to me than I ever realized – God had it all planned out. Not just house plans but soul plans. A Holy Expansion. Each room. Each design.

God is the same Yesterday, Today and Forever but for us, we are called to change, to continually be moving closer toward Him, to live out His divine design – building on, re-designing one room at a time to compensate for the growing of my soul – kind of like my grandmother’s house.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor 3:18).

258) Watching my 16 and 13 year old walk together on Mountain trails, talking – reaching that magical age where the great divide has been overcome.
259) An old-fashioned thunder storm – no tornadoes, no severe warnings – just thunder rumbling, rain falling and I love it.
260) Doors opening to give dreams a place
261) “Faith-is-the-substance-of-things-hoped-for-the-evidence-of-things-not-seen” moments (Hebrews 11:1) – when what you have been walking in faith for starts showing itself.
262) Quiet times at home while the boys visit their Nanny, learning to miss the noise and the fullness of our house
263) Saturday Morning Soccer games in sunshine and warmth
264) Old and New friends on the soccer field
265) The beauty of the white blooms on a pear tree
266) A Butterfly visiting those same white Pear blossoms, staying long enough for me to get a picture
267) Still have that can-do spirit that allowed me to run with my grocery cart through a downpour
268) A table for 2 at a favorite restaurant,watching basketball, eating appetizers, spending time with my guy and listening to how God worked in his life this week.
269) An hour during lunch with my knitting group, showing me that good things are there; sometimes you just have to push yourself to have them
270) The dr identifying the pain in my side: gallbladder’s got to go sometime.Identifying the problem is the blessing. The not knowing challenged.
271) A husband who prays over me for healing
272) Willingness to make changes, like a full-time job,diet and the different kind of mothering of my sons out of the nest
273) A skinny, sugar-free salted caramel mocha
274) Crab Bisque on a Sunday afternoon and my littlest son loving it
275) A gift-from-God friend who has taught me so much about love. She made her special Filipino rice for my boys. It teaches them how to love beyond family, too. They want to keep her.
276) Holding sweet baby girl, her laughing when I said asparagus, her laughing at her youngest uncle, and beautiful smiles for her grandpa
277) Thinning the ivy around the porch with my husband.

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