Archive for the ‘Mothers Day’ Category

flowrjar2I am so glad God
with immeasurable capacity
More than just
his Son
Who didn’t just love James and John
Plus 10
But loved each of us
Who hadn’t even been born
With equal, immeasurable capacity
The Father and His son knew
Love might be washed in a Holy
Spirit baptism
and not be
Not diminished

Like the Zarephath widow
With only a handful of flour
in a jar
A bit of oil
And a prophet promise
The flour jar didn’t empty
didn’t exhaust itself
spend itself out
Because the promise of God
Left more than enough
always more than enough
for the daily

Wouldn’t a God who wouldn’t
empty a jar
Not empty a heart
Of love
But refill to overflowing
every time
It spent itself
On one of us?

And aren’t each of us
One of His?
If God would send His son
To spend Himself
On each of us to come
The jar of meal runs not out
The oil bottle empties not
So trust your heart
To love more than enough
For all He sends you
To love
The easy and the hard
The ones you want
And the ones you don’t

For God so loved the world
He sent
His only begotten son
to teach us about
love choices
so then how can we love the world
when we cannot love
those He gives us
through birth,
backyard mazes
classroom halls
church steps
grocery aisles

how can we love the world
unless our heart
loves like
the widow’s jar
that empties

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my Mama, she came
from far away sands,
a different climate
leaving behind her gardenia bush
that bloomed the day she left,
blooming itself out
in her absence

she left behind her gardenia’s
to wrap arms tight around me,
tight mama hugs
to sit at my table,
hear my tales face to face
instead of ear to ear
and eat new recipes
from an old family book
to clean up together
after the Normandy pie
and wiping the counters clean

while unpacking her travel, she unfolded
out of tin-foil and damp paper towel
a treasure for me
a gardenia
from mama

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Mothers, like diamonds, are created at high-pressure high-temperature conditions, resulting in something of great beauty, strength and value – worth so much more than where they started from – Blue Cotton Memory

When my first son was born, I felt motherhood was like going to a college class and taking the final exam on the first day- then spending the rest of the semester learning everything that was on the exam!

Everything was so new. I lacked confidence, and, because I lacked confidence, I felt unworthy. Everything within me was challenged, both physically, mentally and spiritually. Everything within could either expand to grow – or suffer collapse. Well, collapsing was just not an option I wanted to consider – even though there still are days when my heart just wants to. . . collapse into a heap. There are days when childbirth without pain medication seem less painful than motherhood. I have learned I am stronger than I imagined, but, too, there are moments when pain experienced is deeper than I ever foresaw.

My capacity for love expanded alongside my capacity for frustration. Sometimes I felt like one more experience would turn me into an overfilled balloon threatening to burst.

Motherhood is a crash course in judgmentalism, forgiveness and compassion. I think you learn that when you suddenly become the one missing it – or your children miss it. When my boys are being challenged beyond themselves, they get irritable, too – just like me. The initial stage to a challenge is frustration, anger, the intense desire to retreat. Then comes reassessment, strategy development and attitude adjustment. When you are the one missing it, forgiveness seems easier to give.

There are days when I miss being 19 – when I was at the peak of my world I had just outgrown – but did not realize that I had outgrown it. I was at the top of my game – but I playing in the Little League. To all those wonderful high school seniors, just graduating, not just the ones I love with all my heart – this is probably one of the most perfect times in your life – you are being celebrated, you have achieved a lifetime goal of graduating from highschool – you have reached the end of a journey, and, for some reason, all those peers you tussled with over the last 12 years, well, they are suddenly hugging you. The world and its dreams are yours for the taking – or so it seems.

And then you begin another journey – a more challenging journey that will eventually lead to the Motherhood Journey. The Academic Journey, the Job and Responsiblity Journey, the Romance and Marriage Journey – well, they all shaped me and taught me, but it is the Motherhood Journey that forged me into more than I was before I had children. Becoming more than I was – experiencing intense love, pain, exhaustion, problem-solving , a never-give-up-ness, well, that literally never gives up, courage to fight instead of flight, rejection, heart-break, joy, laughter, wisdom, and humility – much humility, but much faith, much hope.

“An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels (Proverbs 31:10)

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:72)

“Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (Rom 5:3-5)

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