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Archive for the ‘Dreams’ Category

I don’t really have a story right now. After I drop the boys off at school, I go to a job that I asked God for. I have a window view onto trees, shrubs and sunshine. No teaching, just processing information and tucking it away in a computer. Being a part of a team, too – I like that. My job is a blessing, the answer to a prayer. Sometimes, answered prayers come at a cost, a sacrifice.

Blackberry tea in an “I love you Forever Cup”, Pecans in one candy jar and mini-Cadbury eggs in other.  Got pictures of my boys, their art – and Maddie MacMath’s of Sweet Tea and Me, God Art Calendar and Scripture on my computer. I’m making a mini-nest.

Mothering is a little different. Homemaking is reorganizing itself. The time for writing – well, it’s like my energy and hours need stretchy pants at the end of a day because there’s just not enough room – or, maybe I am learning how much time waste existed in my day.

It is an intentional sacrificing, this job, a dying of the old ways to make room for the new ways.

I told God today I missed being able to write all morning. I missed the way stories and thoughts of Him would settle like clouds fallen on a mountain top for me to catch and pull substance from.

I miss the emptiness He would fill with ideas and thoughts.

Border-line to a self-pity decline born out of confusion, he whispered to me, this sacrifice, this giving up of the old ways – it’s part of His plan for my life. To trust Him.

“I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps”(Jeremiah 10:23).

He told me today, not to worry about the stories – they will come. That for now I am to sacrifice, to die to self.

It is through this sacrifice, this dying to self where rebirth and new growth happen.

“I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8)

I still look for Him, everywhere.  Everyday, I bring my Father with me to work – sometimes He’s there right beside me. Sometimes He’s right outside my window. In the corridor. On a sidewalk. Yesterday, I prayed for someone at work, took her hands and prayed strength and faith over her challenge. Maybe that’s why I am there – because He needs to be there.

This dying to self is really the only way to live – it just requires some adjustment. I’m glad He knows that.


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I saw  some Dandelions yesterday at 9 a.m. The morning sunshine illuminated them.  I wished I had my camera with me.

Later, in the waning sunlight of early evening, they reminded me of ballerinas in white organza

So I charged my camera battery and woke up today ready, batteries charged, camera packed, memory stick cleared

But I waited too long

A Blustery Wind

Did not Wait

And blew away

the Dandelion’s white Organza

And I felt old for a moment

because I did not impetuously throw my responsibilities to the wind

or muster up the energy

before the wind stole my white organza opportunity

But that seed of an idea

nestled into my heart

where Hope blooms

And I know beneath the responsibilities, the tiredness, the challenges

God  nourishes the dream

even Dandelion Dreams in White Organza

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