Storing up the good stuff – that’s what I’ve been doing. Some days, I do it well; some days, I need a re-do.
I don’t have much organization about me right now. Maybe it’s a free-write, a stream of consciousness, a jumble, a mess of ideas, a written patch-work quilt that needed a quilting-kind-of writing, a bunch of windows with pieces and parts views of what’s going on in my blue cotton soul.
“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again” ~C.S. Lewis in the forward of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was a birthday gift, a set of all the books, which I’d never read. It was like God was telling me, “Don’t give up on the fairy tales – keep on believing – because I’m the knight in shining armor . . .”
Why do people ever think they are too old for fairy tales? One of the best birthday gifts ever was when my mother gave me a book of fairy tales a few years ago, and it had my very favorite fairy tale: “The Goose Girl.”
Travel soccer season has its charm. My boys’ cleats aren’t the only things with a lot of wear and tear. One evening, though, all my boys gathered to play a game on the home turf – and it was the best game of them all.
One Saturday morning found me in my aunt’s front yard, in my home town on festival day reminding me of different time, a different group of people stepping out of houses into community – when my grandmother and grandfather waltzed in the festival twilight to a swing orchestra on a slow song.
My granddaughter trying on hats, playing pretend where she’s the mommy and I’m the little girl doing pirouettes and pliés in the back yard when, suddenly, she bursts out, “Muddy, I love you so much” – and my heart stops and melts at the same time.
Boys growing into responsibility, stretching beyond themselves and finding they can without ripping or breaking a part.
Hours gluing boxes shut because someone else made a big mistake – and the silver linings are boys come together, and friends, too, talking about big and little things, little and big – moments filled with laughter, revealing that sometimes buried in a slog of work are silver-lining blessings.
After more than 10 years of growing trees, digging out flower beds, building raised vegetable and herb beds, raising lemon balm, chocolate mint and lavender, splitting bulbs, throwing zinnia seeds and learning faith lessons from blue hydrangeas – the squirrels came across the street to live, build nests, bury seeds – and cause crazy-intense, brain-zapping joy to Sadie, the golden retriever.
Blue jays on a tree limb, hummingbird battles over sweet elixer, and a porch frog that comes out at night.
Over three-mile walks by the coffee shop, through the historic district, into the heart of the university, over the railroad tracks, past the ice cream shop, back to the coffee shop, to my car, to home – and I am stretched, too, as the world shakes and grumbles under blood moon warnings.
A time to live intentionally, walk new paths, sit long and talk much about big and little things, bake daily relief cookies or celebration cakes, and I look into eyes watching whether they look directly blinking naturally or slip away right, and praise God for all the ways boys grow.
I’m learning to release them, these boys . . . . to their own story (see Sharon Sharing God for more on this).
. . . and I’m learning about living with wider margins for gentleness. I know how to be a fighter, to live courage and not-give-up-ness – but there’s a seed of gentleness that needs to grow – Lidia at Crown of Beauty put words to something brewing within me.
and, then one day, I read this: “Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves ‘How can I help?’” (Romans 15:2, The Message)
I gathered 5 red tomatoes from my plants today and felt a peace deep inside.
God’s extravagant love is all around, quiet and loud.
I go tomorrow to meet my mom in Atlanta. We’re going to see a cancer doctor about these cancerous tumors she’s got that need getting rid of. She’s driving 6 hours; I’m driving 3.5. I so love how she’s lived the last 10 years – she’s found joy, discovered that God loves her, and, one day, a black angel, she says, saved her life on the roadside while she was gasping from an asthma attack, unable to breath and unable to use her inhaler, and this last summer, she worked at vacation bible school – she loves helping others.
I’ve dreamed dreams this last little while, one in particular where my husband and I were given a house – just the style we admire. I was so happy – he had a perfect office/library for him in this house. As I was being shown around the house, a door was opened – and there was a thinking room just for me, for books and reading and work, too – exactly my hearts desire. I didn’t have to ask. I didn’t have to plan. It had already been designed for me.
This post has been a mess of a jumble – a beautiful mess of a jumble. That’s just where I’m living right now.
“I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, ‘Jump,’ and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing” (1 Cor. 13:2)
I love this patch-work quilt of words :). It makes me feel closer to you to hear about what you are up to, all the little things. This is the stuff of life, no? I’m glad you jotted down this jumble. Some of the biggest messes often lead to beauty 🙂
Sharing out stories is part of building friendships and community – so glad to share them with you Laura. It’s the little things that really determine our life – isn’t it? The little ways we live the big stuff! Wishing you blessings in the daily this week!
I don’t think you are an empty-nester just yet, Maryleigh, and I am not completely, though my youngest is 19 and taking a semester to work full-time. But I feel these many changes you’re writing about pulling at me too. I feel as if they are shaking my foundation, quite frankly. And I can’t imagine adding a mother’s health issues to the pot, though when my mom died (13 years ago) I was not ready for it then either! I will certainly be in prayer for your mom’s health and all that you are experiencing, my friend. Hugs to you!
No, Beth – I’m not a empty-nester yet – I have about 3.5 more years. I love the way the stools are filled at my counter – how 2 or 3 at home fills 4 to 6 stools or maybe overflows to the kitchen table. I think that is what I will miss the most when the nest empties. We never quite arrive at the “right spot” with the cushy chair where we can just sit back and relax – we keep moving forward challenge by challenge from glory to glory. Most bible characters didn’t stay in one place for long – maybe we were designed to be nomads – especially in life stages. {Hugs} right back – and thank you for the prayers. Surgery is in a few weeks for my mom.
I love hearing the ins and outs of your days, the quiet times, the noisy times. Don’t we all really live in the jumble? Praying for healing for your mom.
Welcome to the Jumble, Lisa! I think that would have been a better title! LOL – Your prayers are appreciated. Surgery is in a few weeks – but everything is looking good at this stage.
thanks for sharing
Thank you for stopping by, Denise! Praying that God’s blessing wrap around you this month and that laughter comes often!
Beautiful. A beautiful mess of jumble. Such is life. Mine especially. It’s refreshing to read your words, friend. Always a joy to come visit you. I’m your neighbor at Holly’s this week, and I’m lifting you in prayer. Much love coming your way!
Thank you, Julie – for your prayers and your words! Love coming my way is a beautiful thing! Thank you!
Love this because there’s so much I could relate to. Some days I do it well, other days I need a redo. Amen. 🙂 Thanks for sharing with us at #RaRaLinkup today!
We all needs a redo – I think God designed us that way! Wishing you blessing and “aaahhhhh” moments that don’t require those redos this week!
I enjoyed reading your jumble of words and I didn’t think they were a mess at all! I loved the line where you gathered your tomatoes from your vines — oh — the best taste of late summer is home-grown tomatoes! Thank you for stopping by my blog today and I’m glad I popped over here to check in with you, friend!
I really like your free flowing jumbley messy writing style. I’m with you. Life is wide open spaces and free and quiet and beautiful and good.
Love this. What a neat post and reminder of precious days. And let me tell you empty nesters miss those kids, but it’s so like when we first married at my house between grandchildren coming over for babysitting.
Sometimes it feels so good to just dump it all out, like a box of puzzle pieces, and see what fits together. Thanks for linking with #SmallWonder!
I’m sorry to hear about your mother, but what a lovely testimony about what God is doing in her life. I enjoyed reading all of your bits and pieces. Like the wider margins for gentleness. I need that too, especially with my girl at home now that my boy has gone off to college!
**Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves ‘How can I help?’**
YESSSSSSSSS!
Also, I love how you see the beauty and joy in a simple red tomato!
I do, too! x
My favorite fairy tale is The Princess and the Pea. I have an OLD fairy tale book my mom gave me years ago. I baby it, tape the edge, and some times I just hold it and re-read the old stories that inspired me years ago. This was a great jumble ramble. I loved it – sort of like sitting on the front porch watching the world go by while chatting about a little of everything!!