Asking for help? Don’t want to do it (ask for help that is) . . . because asking for help equals failure, inadequacy – just plain not measuring up. Doesn’t it?
I used to think so. How terribly wrong I was.
You and I, we were designed to need help. If we didn’t – need help – would we turn to God? Not just turn to God, lift one eye-brow and acknowledge Him – but drop on our knees, drop the very soul of ourselves at His feet and say, “i need YOU.”
God designed us in His image – just like He reaches out to us, we each are designed to reach out. . . . to all His children – the good, the bad, the easy, the hard, the lovable, the unlovable, the hurting and even those who seem so whole, so put together.
I must admit, with my first-born, I didn’t need as much help. I did all the things the parenting books suggested – from love to discipline, to chores to Christ, to loving your neighbor, to teaching about tithing and healing and praying. We successfully launched him into college – and into independence. “Thanks for the independence with training wheels,” he said one day before he graduated. This parenting gig seemed so easy.
I realize now that it wasn’t so much of what we did, but how God designed him: coachable, logical, born-an-old-man. I think Isaac might have been like that to Abraham. I mean, what son or daughter would just hop on top of a sacrificial alter because their dad said it was the right thing to do?
If you’ve had a nest-full of coachable, easy to shepherd, minimal problem kids – you really don’t need to read further. If your nest has been diverse – different personalities, different levels of coachability, differently designed and wired – so that all those parenting books suddenly don’t apply – then Kathi Lipp’s book i need some help here! might be just the read you need.
Have you ever felt like you’re raising a rebel like Samson, a thief and runner like Jacob, someone who run’s from God’s plan like Jonah, the prodigal even – then you probably need some encouragement – someone who won’t condemn your child’s brokenness, blame it on your supposed secret sin, someone who will pray God’s plan with you over your child (regardless of the age) – someone who recognizes that Godly parents have children who struggle – with life – whether it is due to choices, health issues – or outside issues that affect their inner soul.
Kathi points out: “This is the road no one wants to travel the road of having a child that is struggling. But there are priceless treasures along the way if you allow God to work in your life and your child’s (Kathi Lipp).
She also says, “I was not a perfect mom, but I was the mom God chose for them, and therefore I was the perfect mom them” (Lipp).
In the process of raising these children, God refines us. “Once your heart has been broken for your kids, God can use that brokenness to woo you to be the kind of parent he needs you to be,” Kathi explains.
My goal as a parent was to raise whole, healthy children – physically and spiritually. I didn’t want to break them, scathe them, wound them. Yet because of sin, we are all born broken. Because of my brokenness, I cannot be a perfect parent: I cannot fix everything that breaks.
I cannot make everything o.k.
God can, though.
Kathi encourages us in i need some help here! to set healthy boundaries and expectations – not just on our children, but ourselves: when our children are overwhelmed, troubled, different, sick makes poor choices, run away from God, lacks character, struggles and feels left out.
You are not alone. God doesn’t want you or me to be isolated as our children struggle. He doesn’t want us hiding behind shame. He wants us to encourage each other by our faith in Him. Kathi’s book does just that. You can find more about Kathi over at her place: Kathi Lipp- Your Life. On Purpose.