School starts today – a senior, 8th grader and 6th grader – 3 still in the nest, 2 out – a snug balance that will change come next May.
I’m not quite ready for this school year, but I am being swept into it regardless of whether I am ready or not. Maybe next week I will be ready. Besides, who says I have to be ready at the beginning of everything?
At least the boys to men will go to school with haircuts – starting out neat and trim. Nice haircuts that seem to say, “I’m ready,” whether you really are or not.
But we’re really not.
And that’s o.k.
I’m making white cupcakes from scratch, filled with strawberry jam, topped with a chocolate ganache and pink, yellow and lavender fondant daisies for a wedding shower for my nephew and his sweet fiance this weekend. Even in that, I’m not quite ready.
And that’s o.k..
There are lots of changes, good changes, answered prayer changes – feeling like it’s a blizzard of answered prayer – and I can’t see ahead of it. I can only see as far as the tips of my toes, which really means, where I am right now.
This girl, here, the one typing – I’m used to seeing ahead of everything, even if I really can’t see: planning contingencies, even planning back-up alternatives for the contingencies – but God wants me to stand in the midst of this blizzard of answered prayer and just soak, not so much say right now.
One never quite knows where an answered prayer will take one – except that it will be ultimately lead its way into something good, something refreshing.
I’m not ready because I cannot see everything out in front of me
but I’m on the journey, even if it means I can’t see what’s beyond right now except the prayers answered – not the cause/effect, just the blessing of those answers
I am trusting Him, that these answered prayers will translate themselves to me eventually, that readiness will unfold itself.
“This is what God says,
the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
who carves a path through pounding waves,
Thank you Father for making a safe, solid path through the challenges, through the unknown, even through answered prayers that lead to places unanticipated.
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
they lie down and then can’t get up;
they’re snuffed out like so many candles:
“Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Thank you for taking us forward, every closer to you. Thank you for leading us through the mine-field of challenges that reveal our measure of grace only to provide the opportunity to grow that measure of grace into something more. My history, the family history – it has already happened. I need to let go to let us grow into what He has planned. Event though much history is good, answered prayers start new chapters, leaving the old chapters behind.
“Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
I’m not ready of myself, Father – but if you are designing the plan, the schedule, the itinerary, if you are building the road, no matter where you building the road, I want to be there with you, to watch your plan explode! Not just watch, but to work with you! Oh, yes, to work with you, even though you don’t need my help! I just have to be willing, game, alert, present.
Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’
—the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
the people I made especially for myself,
a people custom-made to praise me” (Isaiah 43:16-21)
Thank you, Father, for this blizzard of answered prayer. Thank you for always being faithful to your promises. Thank you for pursuing each of my sons, each member of my family with more love and determination than I can fathom. Thank you for opening doors that lead to other doors that lead us to where you want us to be. Thank you for sending me a husband who leads our family with unconditional love, wisdom founded in you, and a hopeful, joyful, never-give-up heart. Thank you for a support system that knows my heart, loves me where I am and cheers me on for where you take me. Thank you for giving me peace, to let me know that not everything has to be done perfectly on-the-world’s schedule – or even a school year schedule – and that it is o.k. sometimes to not be ready for things like school.
No, I’m not ready for school today, or for the shower Saturday, or soccer practice 3 days a weeks, dinner tomorrow night or tomorrow’s 6:25 wake up call for boys.
He just wants me to be ready to praise Him, to love Him, to just simply follow Him one minute, one hour, one day, one event at a time.
In the following, I will find myself ready at the right time, know how it all unfolds because He created the plans – and each contingency of each contingency.
I know what this feels like and your heart’s prayer of surrender is so beautiful. I love this line, “He just wants me to be ready to praise Him, to love Him, to just simply follow Him one minute, one hour, one day, one event at a time.” It frees me today!
I’m a chronic planner too! I freak out when I look forward in life and see a “black hole”! I just have to know what’s coming. In that, I’m learning to trust that God indeed has a plan and has it under control even if I don’t! I really enjoyed reading through your prayer–especially the end and the gratitude.
Mary Beth @newlifesteward
Here’s to a great school for you!!!
I would not be ready either!!! Public schools here start August 27. This would be far too soon! May God’s grace carry you through the transition.
(The cupcakes sound ambitious but spectacular!)
Goodness, school starting already? I don’t even have kids and just the thought that summer is drawing to a close makes me think that I’m not ready either 🙂
So many things in life seem to sneak up on me– but I know that while my heart might not be ready, God already knows what’s going on.
Thanks for this sweet reminder! Be blessed!
Beautiful prayers. This especially touched my heart, “Thank you for leading us through the mine-field of challenges that reveal our measure of grace only to provide the opportunity to grow that measure of grace into something more.”
Blessings,
Joan
Beautiful prayers and this especially touched my heart – “Thank you for leading us through the mine-field of challenges that reveal our measure of grace only to provide the opportunity to grow that measure of grace into something more.”
Blessings and I pray for a wonderful school year.
It’s so easy to be engrossed with life’s concerns that we forget how important it is to start our day, praying, praising Him and lifting up anything to His hands for He cares. I love your attitude of saying “It’s okay”. It’s only those hearts who truly trust in Him can sincerely say that. Like yours. Changes…It’s inevitable…But it sounds like you’ll always be “okay” because you know Who has the hold on you. God bless you sister. Love your prayers! May our prayers always come from our hearts that constantly burn with love for Him.
School’s already starting? Good luck! We have about a month left before school starts here. Back to waking up and making breakfast for the kids.
How true, Mary Leigh… we’re never really ready if all we’re trusting in is our own limited resources.
Holding on to God alone…
Lidia
Wonderful verses! We really can rest in His provision and care.
Oh so great! I haven’t been blog reading in quite a while and as I catch up it is all so great I wish I had returned earlier. Loved the mission statement one as well. And glad you are all well. All of them really. Of course now you have made me late getting ready for church! But it was worth it.
I’m not ready for this new season I’m about to enter either–we take my youngest to college on Friday. 😦 I’m excited for her, sad for me. Yet even in it all, I know it is right and good and God will take care of us all. Ready or not.
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