I know that I would not want to spend 75+ years with my husband, raise 5 sons to love the Lord or chase any dream as me without God. This post is about me letting go, relinquishing ME to become who God created me to BE. Believe me, it is all about letting go.
More Better Me
December 11, 2010 by bluecottonmemory
I cried. and cried. and cried. I went outside, but just sat and cried more. Frustrated, mom finally washed them out. She was put out because I wasn’t as excited about my curls as she was. I was excited because I was back to being me. Those curls made me feel as though I wasn’t beautiful – I had to be fixed – me was not beautiful. That is not what my mom meant. She just meant to have some fun with my hair.
I have always been very protective of my self-image. I didn’t want people fooling with the me in me. I could decide to change my hair, or my style, but I definitely did not want others doing that. I guess it really is a healthy boundary issue. I wanted to like being me, and I knew I would not like me if I were not me. How’s that for as semantic tongue twister! It is an idea just as hard to live as it is to say sometimes.
As I grew older, entered college and eventually life, I learned more about The Father. I heard things like,”God wants us to become like Him. When we follow Jesus, we become more like him” – and more confusion developed about where the me in me fit.
I found myself asking, “Why did God make me as me if He wants me to be like Him?” I don’t doubt that many think but rarely ask, ‘Why do I want to follow a God who doesn’t want me – but himself?” How many have walked away from a relationship with the Father away because they do not think He is interested in them?
Let us take that thought one step further. I think the hardest thing to wrap one’s mind around is the idea that becoming what God created us to be – through His mighty strength does not mean we become less ourselves – but more how God intended us to be. Kind of like how adding baking soda makes cakes rise higher.
Teens and those rebelling so want to be “themselves” – not realizing they are less themselves when they stray from God. Keeping control, not letting that control go into God’s hands blinds us to our potential. When the Holy Spirit is welcomed inside, the dirty windows of our soul are cleaned – and we sparkle – inside and out. We can really see ourselves – the Psalms 139 child we were created to be.
Jesus himself said, “In this world you are going to have struggles. You are going to have troubles, tribulations, but be of good courage. I have overcome the world and I am going to take those troubles and I am going to transform you more and more in to my likeness” (Romans 8:29).
Now I understand that by being transformed into His likeness, I am able to become the “Me” He destined me to be. I do not become less of myself. I become more of who I was intended to be. Is it not glorious that we have a God of mighty goodness, passion, peace, gentleness, love and beauty instead of a selfish god of torment? Yet, to really grab on to who we are, we have to let go of ourselves first and grab on to God, totally, wholly, completely.
“Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us” (2 Timothy 3:17).
The Word is the Windex for the windows of our soul. The paper towels are the Holy Spirit that wipes away the dirt. Then God shines through us – through me. . . through you – creating a more better me!