How do you know when your son has found the girl? Granted, Isaac’s father and his father’s manservant knew before he did, but usually that’s not the case. I do have one true blue technique that will head off trouble in the long run, though. Any girl that walks through the front door, the kitchen door, the garage door, or even the basement door, whatever doors you have, open your heart as though she is the one.
Opening your heart achieves two goals: if she is the one, you haven’t started off on the wrong foot. If she is not the one, you have planted good seed. We should always treat others as though they are our favorites. Just like God treats us!
I can tell you when a girl is not the one. I didn’t need to see this happen twice to figure this behavior pattern out!
My oldest son was a camp counselor at a wonderful Christian camp for a few years. It is a camp all my sons have attended. I love how it affirms and deepens their faith by being in an environment where they witness and minister all week long. During the summer, they have Canoe Camp for the older students. Often the counselors participate.
One summer, my son and another counselor, Canoe Girl, admired each other. I don’t think they went “steady.” “Steady” is what the old folks did. They didn’t have a commitment. What they say today is they’re “together.” I think I like steady better. However, from what I understand from studying this species behavior “together” can mean big commitment or tentative not-quite-commitment commitment.
The canoe campers did what they did best, canoed. Understand, there was not hot water, no bathrooms, cooking over a fire—it was roughing it in the wild with adults keeping a watchful eye every moment. They canoed all morning. They canoed all afternoon. He canoed with her. Sigh! Always with a third canoer. One such canoe companion irritated my son. The irritation grew, greW, grEW, and GREW until he couldn’t take it any more. He abandoned the canoe. . . . and her to the irritant.
Lesson? If the urge to get out of the canoe is greater than the urge to stay in with a girl, then she’s not the girl.
Another test is the family endurance test. He brought Canoe Girl home for Sunday lunch one weekend. We lived close by the camp. Our other sons were quite small then, 4, 6, 9 and 12. This hadn’t happened before. A real girl of interest, coming into our home.
Every boy watched. The youngest ones giggled, trying so hard to behave and failing miserably. Suddenly, bathroom humor popped out, burping bathroom humor. It was downhill from there (I have always said, you can take them out, but you can’t take them home). She didn’t leave screaming, but she never came back.
My oldest son is getting married next week. He would never leave her in a canoe with someone else. If he left, he would take her with him. The Family Endourance Test? She did not leave screaming, and she came back. The boys love her! Me, too! From the moment she walked through that door!
Dropping in from SITS. I love this post! what a lucky girl your future daughter-in-law is to have a m-i-l who actually loves her. (I’m lucky in that way too, and hope to treat my d-i-l the same way in 20 years or so).
Congratulations on gaining a daughter too. 🙂
5 sons?! You are my idol! And, one getting married? I am so not ready to think about mine even going on a date. I probably won’t even be invited to the wedding b/c I will be a blubbery, crying, snotty mess. Have fun:) And, thanks for visiting my happy spot!
I’ll have to remember all of this good advice for when my boys start bringing home girls.
5 boys!! They sound awesome!
Thanks for stopping by my blog today!
I’ll be back to get more tips about raising boys. I have two. But sometimes it feels like there are twelve of them!!:)
What a great read and an insightful thought. I wish _______and _______ the best! I only wish I could be there to witness the union, but my thoughts and prayers will be with them as I am in North Dakota for the summer serving as a summer missionary. Best wishes – Katie Lewis
How fun to have a wedding coming up. I’m sure it is bringing up lots of mixed emotions as a mom, but now you will also have a daughter! Yeah!
This was such a fun post to read! Thank you for sharing this!!!
I love your cute little corner of cyberspace over here! 5 sons? Holy Cow! How do you do it my friend? I especially loved this post though because it has so much heart and passion and family value all tied into it. What a nice read. Congrats to you, your son and his new wife! May they have a lifetime of love and happiness!!
Thank you for stopping by my blog!
I think it’s awesome you have FIVE sons! I have two and I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a little girl…and trust me…I’ve started some potty humor things that I shouldn’t have too! It just comes with the territory! I’m still trying to get my 3 year old to stop saying certain things in public… : )
Macey
Oh yes, and by the way, I meant to say: Your blog is beautiful!
Macey
This post is so sweet, and so true. I have 5, but 3 girls and 2 boys. If you can’t handle potty humor your just not going to make it!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
So thankful you stopped by my blog so that I in turn found yours. How fascinating to read a blog written by a mother of five sons. Since I had three daughters imagine what I can learn from you. I will be back.
First off, I absolutely love the picture in your header!!!
Secondly, I wish my MIL had the same sweetness in her heart that you have. Your future DIL is very lucky to have such an accepting MIL!
5 boys?? Wow! I could probably learn a lot from you. I have 3 boys and I’m already hearing the potty talk at the dinner table and enduring burping contests. UGH!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
You have a beautiful heart.
THose are good tests and so true too!
Happy SITS sharefest!
[…] hug someone else. Snuggle with someone else. See stars in their eyes over someone else – The Girl. (Hint, make sure your daughter-in-law knows you are joking when you say you want to be the mother […]
[…] all the pre-wedding business, did not have a place to go or be heard. So I shared them with you. The Girl was one of those posts. One of my most popular has been Prayer for My Son’s Wife […]
[…] “The Girl” – Tips to Recognizing “The Girl” your son will marry […]
Oh thank you for posting this. Good stuff. It is so nice to see that others have similar approaches to dating. I had a similar realization about my son’s girlfriend when they started dating. I don’t know if she is the one but if it ends I want her to remember that we loved her while she was part of the family. A year later I am fairly certain she isn’t the one, she doesn’t seem as in love with the family as my son. Not passing the family endurance test. But I am still loving her while praying my son sees the truth soon.
Oh, I love this! Thanks for sharing. 🙂