“I was gonna blog but when I looked at all the blogs, everyone is either an English teacher or has a Masters in English,” a friend said over lunch.
My friend is an artisan, knitting, quilting, creating beautiful things with a grace I don’t have. There are so many gifts that I don’t have, that I cannot master. Her gifts are not my gifts – sometimes I feel like a failure because I cannot sing, quilt, play an instrument, have an everything-in-its-place home.
I pointed out all the cooking, crafting and home decorating blogs – where their passion is not about words but talents, giftings – if she blogged her gifts, it would be filled with awesome things.
Things, gifts that I don’t have.
I don’t have. I don’t have. I don’t have.
If I focus on the don’t haves, I can’t see the have.
Sunday morning, Easter Sunday, found me sitting in a pew, watching beautiful gifts praising our Lord: voices singing, instruments playing, feet dancing – and, a man signing “Behold the King” – I don’t know sign language – but I could see the words, see this man singing with his hands, praising, worshipping in a language with no voice that spoke more eloquently than a great orator.
For years, I have sat in awe, listening to our worship singers, from our college ministry to our adult ministry – and have been awed by their uninhibited use of voice and sound, beating myself up because I don’t have what they have. I so wanted to worship my Lord that beautifully, with immersion and abandon – but I have not the voice.
Watching our college and youth dance team – young men and women, worshipping our Lord with bones, muscles and liberation, no inhibition – grace and passion for our Lord unleashed in worship – it just WOWS me, their gift, their passion for our Lord.- but I have not the graceful feet and hands.
Musicians – guitars, drums, horns, pianos, percussion, strings – that skill honed to worship our Lord, developed and used in tribute, in worship – but I have not the skill.
They bring to God gifts of worship. They give something of themselves weekly, daily to Him in a way that I cannot.
Too much of my life has been the focus of what I don’t have, what I cannot do, not because of time or money, but because I do not have that gifting.
I used to feel inadequate, defective . . . until God uncovered my gift, dug it out from the overgrown garden of life in which it lost itself, and transplanted it in Him, where it needed to be to grow – and I learned how my gift dances, sings and plays – just in a different way.
We each have a gift.
That dances graceful
Uninhibited, with abandon
Boasting of our Lord
With our gifts,
Our hearts sing ballads of God’s mercy, hope and love
Uninhibited, with abandon
With our gifts,
We master our individual instrument of praise,
Uninhibited, with abandon.
With words,
I dance worship
With words,
I sing the ballad He gave me
With words,
I play an instrument of praise
Maybe you
teach, heal, comfort, assist, serve
in schools, restaurants, hospitals, day-cares, nurseries, Wal-Mart, offices
dancing worship,
singing the ballad He gave you
playing an instrument of praise
uninhibited, with abandon
full of God’s mighty grace
We each have a gift
Are you dancing yours?
Sometimes, my voice is not beautiful. Sometimes my words stumble and miss a step. Sometimes I race ahead of the great Conductor.
So many different God-gifts – yet, in each exists a potential kinship in the passion, the concentration, the letting go of self-consciousness to God-consciousness, of receiving that gift and giving it all back to Him.
“God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people!” (1 Cor 12:4-7, The Message)
What gift do you dance, sing and play gracefully, beautifully, worshipfully?
302) God providing friends for my sons so that when one falls, there is another there to help him up.
303) Friendships that help roots grow into home and community.
304) Watching a son negotiate hurts in friendship with faith and honor.
305) A coachable son on and off the field.
306) An orange carrot, yellow mango juice smoothie, homemade
307) Orange Dulce Tea in the morning as my computer boots up.
308) A flank steak, baked potato, spinach salad for an easy dinner, easy smiles.
309) Finding special gifts at just-right prices
310) A Friday night dinner date with take-out at home.
311) A birthday lunch with lots of laughing tears!
312) Whipping up Chocolate celebration cupcakes with a chocolate ganache topping for a friend’s birthday.
313) Spending time with unconditional-love kind of people
314) 7:45 a.m. phone calls to my mom
315) My guy helping me get my yard just the way I want it, even though my dream for this is not his dream.
316) After 2 summers away, thinning out our garden overgrowth and coming away with multiplied blessings: “The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;” (Song of Solomon 2:12):
317) 2 butterfly bushes
318) 6 groupings of lilies: “I will be as the dew unto Israel: he shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon” (Hosea 14:5) – I want my sons to grow like that!
319) a knockout rose bush
320) an extra yellow flowering bush whose name I cannot remember
321) a place to finally plant purple, pink, yellow, red zinnias
322) Cardinals showing up in un-expected places as though God saying, “I have not forgotten you – I sent these birds to remind you.”
323) Finding joy in other’s gifts during our church’s Easter Celebration.
324) Watching my littlest guy stuff Easter Eggs with chocolate covered marshmallows and chocolate eggs. Seeing his love of responsibility and approach to problem solving when some eggs didn’t fit.
325) Baby girl giggling and laughing baby laughs and giggles when I talk to her.
326) Bed-time routines that include prayer, laughter, hugs and questions.
327) Right now, I feel peace, contentment, a lull in the challenge machine. I realize it is not permanent, but a sweet refreshing in the now, a sweet gift from the Father and His Son!
328) Living Resurrection – letting the story of my savior falling 3 times, wearing a crown of thorns, nails hammered into hands and feet, giving His soul up to the Father – and rising on the 3rd day, making himself available to those who sought him out, to comfort them, give them hope. Letting that story seep down into my soul again and again, still not able to grasp all of it. God’s love humbles me when I really try to wrap my mind around it,and since I cannot successfully wrap my mind around it, He graciously wraps His love around me!
Everything is so good about this post. You are blessed in the ability to be honest and open and full of encouragement.
Yes, yes, yes! It’s so easy to see what we don’t have and to miss what we DO have. BUT, I think we can begin to retrain our thoughts and attitudes and hearts — kind of like wearing braces on our teeth. Slow, painful, awkward, yes. I wrote about “When is enough, enough?” (http://wp.me/p1Ut5W-bf) as I’m trying to retrain myself (with God’s help!)
I just have to say…yes and amen…I am right there…i just was telling my husband this very thing…I feel God has come and said…this is Me in you…right here…my gifts may not dance…sing and write well…but no less a gift all the same. great post…blessings
I have struggled with accepting the gifts as God gives them. Always wishing I had different giftings. Thank you for this, such an encouragement!
This is such an encouraging post! I love how we are all so different…but as we all serve using the different gifts that God has given us, He fits it all together so beautifully! I’ve heard the body of Christ compared to a beautiful quilt. Each square unique from the other and yet, each one stitched together so beautifully. What a joy it is to serve the Lord!
Sometimes it’s hard to remember this. It is so easy to look at what others “have” and feel inadequate or lacking, but it’s all in the perspective. Thanks for the reminder that God gives us all many good, but different, gifts. Great post!
We always want what we don’t have—especially that singing gift!!! But you are right we can worship—with the gifts we have. All it takes is a willing heart. Not all “songs” sound the same.
Beautiful. We create because we are created in His image. When we let our creativity flow…we look more like God. How can we resist that? Yet…we do. Belittle our own gifts. But we must think of them as a way to becoming more like Him. Lovely thoughts, thank you.
I’m glad you are gifted with beautiful words! I love how words feel and trickle like streams of life from lips and fingers! Great reminder that all the gifts are valuable and needed, blessing us all. I’m thankful for being let in on the party of being given a gift and receiveing the fruit of others gifts as well!
This is totally along the same lines as my blog/vlog today. We all have a gift to use. We just need to use it and recognize that it is from God.
This is so beautiful I do worship through dance, but He appreciates each and every one of our gifts.
Love in Him,
Laurie Collett
http://www.praisehimwithdance.com
Wow awesome post I really love it!!! I have often felt, where is my gift? I have always felt I am good at many thing but not GREAT at any. Well, recently God showed me what I was Great at and I am so blessed! I just started blogging when my Jonathan went to heaven, and I felt like you I have nothing to give the world with my blog…. just see it as an online journal. Then I visited all the superwomen’s blogs and was like oh no….But my heart rejoices because I know God has gifted me to do many things well if not perfectly :). Thanks for sharing.
Oh, this is just beautiful…and oh, so true. I do the same thing to myself. My husband and children are musicians. I’ve come to realize music can be expressed in words. And you, dear friend, are a word musician!
Wonderful post.
oooh…beautiful, Mary leigh. always, your writing–so beautiful. i loved the poem, love how you open me up through your pain, to see my own heart’s frailty and insecurity, that doesn’t believe my gifts are worth something. i always second-guess myself, beat myself up as a mom, a wife, a friend, i play and re-play conversations in my mind…i know this is something God wants to teach me to let go….
thank you so much for visiting me and for your sweet, encouraging words. thank you for the steady stream of them, always lifting me up to the Father. you are amazing. love you!
Oh, how beautiful and perfect. It’s such a struggle to keep our eyes on our Father and His gifts in our own lives when we see what we don’t have. And He perfectly and wonderfully weaves us all together. It’s a joy when we can step back and see things from His perspective. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. I truly appreciate that you made the visit in and left your tracks upon my page. I agree that our gift is but hand selected carefully by the Hand of God and we should look upon the gift as His Desire for us and Praise Him with all our might…and rejoice with others as they use their gift to magnify him ….Happy Wednesday
Thanks for your comment at my blog. Scrolling through your place here this post struck home. After moving a year ago I find I am still struggling with what and how God would share His gifts in me. These words … ” feel inadequate, defective . . . until God uncovered my gift, dug it out from the overgrown garden of life in which it lost itself, and transplanted it in Him, where it needed to be to grow” help tremendously. Waiting for his uncovering. Thanks.
And wow – 5 sons – we only have 4 – full of blessings and challenges. Looking forward to your wisdom here.
Oh how I love this post, Mary Leigh. I felt the crescendo in your words as they pointed me towards Him. Absolutely stunning. What worship!! You are so right…joining with you as I continue to offer my blogging space to Him for His glory. Hugs to you, friend!