So many parenting moments have been about overcoming fear – to take that risk of sleeping in your bed when you think monsters are under it – and when they get older, to take that risk of emerging into independence.
Risk taking means facing fears, not retreating into hiding places.
Friday, though, that risk-taking, that slaying of the great monster-fear – came face-to-face with counsel to retreat, to stay in the bud, to withdraw into the hallway.
Friday morning found the university, the high schools and area schools – staff, faculty and students herded into hallways.
A few of us rolled our eyes with a here-we-go-again attitude – so wanting to stay blossomed out instead of retreating into the bud.
A few of us had students at the high school. My husband’s business bumped up to the high school. I called him, telling him that supposedly a funnel cloud had been cited.
He felt this warning was over-exagerated. We both did. We slayed that monster fear. We looked it in the eye and spit in the face of it.
Until Friday afternoon when we saw the pictures of the funnel cloud in the soccer fields north of the school – just a parking lot away from my son – and the community’s teens.
Then I felt humbled. Those morning and bedtime prayers where we ask God for His angels to encamp about us and protect us weren’t empty. God was shielding these mama’s children while we were in a hallway, some of us not just in the hallway but chaffing at the restriction of the hallway, within the protective bud of the hallway.
My mom called me later yesterday from Florida. She saw more storms heading our way. “Sleep in the basement,” she said.
Through it all, I thought, I don’t want to be cowed by fear. I don’t want my life to be lived in a hallway hiding from fear.
Part of me is angry at weather announcers for promoting hysteria. Part of me misses good old-fashioned Thunderstorms watched from the porch. Part of me remembers my grandmother stuffing us into a closet during a Spring Storm. Part of me feels foolish for blowing off the danger, for bristling at the hallway, for having to furl my self back into the bud.
All of me is Praising God that our communities’ high school students weren’t hurt. All of me is grieving and praying for those places where tornadoes damaged communities, leaving families devastated.
I am humbled today. Awed at God’s mighty hand that separated this tornado from the school. Reminded that sometimes withdrawing into the hallway is God’s plan.
Sometimes the risk to withdraw back into the bud is more painful than the risk to continue blossoming – but sometimes it is so necessary.
- Squirrels gathering nuts just before 8 a.m., seemingly not caring I am thisclose
- Blue skies and a playful breeze while walking 2 miles during lunch
- A big window by my desk at work – priceless
- Watching my husband build a business, seeing all his wisdom and knowledge and skill in understanding timing, waiting and patience.
- My husband belief that God opens doors, provides – that he is a faith-man like that.
- Faith-is-the-substance-of things-hoped-for-the-evidence-of-things-not-seen – the moment where it is seen.
- Healing – about 2 months ago, I wondered how I could ever hold a job. Brain fog. Exhaustion. Inability to concentrate. When my son started taking zinc for migraines, I did too. Today? Living life all day long. No more brain fog. No more exhaustion. Thank you God for Zinc!
- Yellow Daffodils! Roadside, by concrete stairs, in flowerbeds, clustered between trees.
- Pear Tree buds emerging white– making me think of the Hope of Spring
- Maple Trees budding pinkish-mauve, belying the green leaf that grow in its place, made me think of how the teen years camouflage God’s real plan for life – like a pinkish-mauve bud that turns into a green leaf.
- Khaki Capri pants!
- “Greater is He that’s in me than he that is in the world” – for those overwhelming moments when life doesn’t play by the rules.
- High School Soccer field, feels like home, where the son playing on the field now played on the sidelines in 2000 – the only break was 2 years in Ky. Felt like a homecoming
- After years of stomach problems, rebuilding muscle, letting it all catch up to coordination, watching it all come together for this son.
- The oldest brother coming to watch this littler brother.
- Recounting the day with each of the little guys at bedtime
- Hugs – they are getting fewer and so much more precious
- Recognizing that little boy bluesy 11 is just a stage
- Gapow-to-go from my very favorite Thai restaurant
- The hand of God separating a tornado from the high school where my son and the communities sons and daughters sat in the hallways.
- My son’s unit activated to help a suffering town in KY
- Yellow Daffodils and robin-egg blue sky the morning after the storms came, giving me a “Joy-comes-in-the-morning” feeling.
- A Saturday Morning date with my husband, taking pictures with the camera he bought me.
- An e-mail from a friend in the blogasphere, telling me how to use said camera!
- A salted caramel mocha for me and a no-bake cookie for my guy on our morning outing.
- Snowflakes on Sunday
Please continue praying for families and communities hit by these tornados. My son said that the extent to the loss hasn’t been fully released yet. It breaks my heart the stories he has been telling me.